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Guidelines
for Talking Circles
Talking
circles are usually convened to resolve a problem, discuss
an issue, or to focus on a question of interest to all members.
When working with a large group (thirty or more) consider
forming an inner circle and an outer circle. Whoever is
sitting in the inner circle can speak while those in the
outer circle. Participants can take turns being in the inner
circle.
The group leader facilitates the discussion in non-judgmental
way. In other words, instead of responding with words like,
"great" or "good", the leader can acknowledge
or clarify comments, such as, "I understand you are
saying that..." listen. During the circle time, people
are free to respond however they want as long as these basic
considerations are followed:
- Participants can indicate their desire to speak by raising
their hands or waiting for the object to be pased to them
around the circle. Generally the person holding the object
speaks and is the only one with the right to speak, even
if s/he takes a long time to think about what to say and
there's a pause in the conversation.
- All comments are addressed directly to the question or
the issue, not to comments another person has made.
- Both negative and positive comments about what anyone
else has to say should be avoided.
- Silence is acceptable. There must be no negative reactions
to the phrase, "I pass."
- Going around the circle in a systematic way invites each
person to participate without a few vocal people dominating
the discussion.
- Speakers should feel free to express whatever is in their
heart, in any way that is comfortable: by sharing a story,
a personal experience, by using examples or metaphors, and
so on. A person is absolutely free to say whatever is in
their heart, without limitation, and in the safe and comfortable
knowledge that nobody will criticize it or interrupt it.
- If a person talks too long, people around the circle begin
to discreetly cough. Too long is usually defined according
to the situation, but could be three to ten minutes, depending
on the size of the group, the topic, and how long the group
wants to spend together. If you have the object and notice
that others are coughing, it's time to pass it along. (Use
of a timer or gong would be highly inappropriate for a Talking
Circle, as it's an artificial imposition on the organic
process of the Circle.)
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The circle continues either until everybody has had one
opportunity to talk (usually in a larger group with time
constraints) or until each person, when they receive the
object, expresses the feeling that they've pretty much said
everything they have to say. It's interesting to see how
this works: the process is usually quite organic, and everybody
pretty much "winds down" about the same time.
That said, short circles can also be used to begin or bring
closure to lessons in teaching or training sessions.
Talking
Circles are both cathartic, healing, and extraordinarily
effective ways of bringing everybody into the process of
communication and group life. Because you can't speak until
you have the object, the skills of listening carefully and
learning how to remember what you want to say when your
time comes are developed and exercised.
As
for specialty uses, Talking Circles have had a powerful
impact on groups of ADD adults and children. Any family
will find talking circles very effective, and can even expand
participation into their neighborhoods, including friends
("Come on over to our house for dinner and a one-hour
Talking Circle!").
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