Master Facilitator Journal

Master Facilitator Journal | Issue #0554, September 18, 2012

View Steve Davis's profile on LinkedIn
facilitatoru blog
Dear Friends,

This week's article, Practicing Emotional Mastery is about recovering from emotional imbalance by managing our internal world. It's about being with and allowing our emotions in such a way so that they pass through us freely and inform our behavior in a healthy way. With emotional mastery we bring fresh energy and honest perspectives to our groups that in the end, may be our biggest contribution as group leaders.

Private Paradigm Shifting Session. If you're struggling with a persistent problem or concern, I'd be happy to help you explore it in such a way that might help you change your relationship to it so that it's no longer a problem. I practice an eclectic blend of modalities that offer a powerful, gentle, and respectful alternative to cognitive therapy that typically produces profound and lasting results, commensurate with one's willingness. Sessions usually take about an hour, and rarely need to be repeated. If you are interested in receiving a private or group phone session, contact me to discuss it.

Winter Session of the Journey of Facilitation and Collaboration Workshop (JOFC). Our Winter session of the JOFC Workshop is now open for registration! We'll be meeting the week of January 14th in Madison Wisconsin. Come and experience a rare opportunity to learn an Integrally Informed Approach to Facilitation and Collaboration essential in grappling with the increasingly complex issues we face today in business, industry, government, and education. Click here for details and registration.

I wanted to thank you for a valuable experience last week. I gained tools which will aid me in future facilitation, which was my goal. What I didn't expect to receive was further insight to what makes me "tick" - this part was surprising and personally very valuable. Thank you for the candor, integrity and being so authentic.
--2012 Workshop Participant--

If you or your colleagues are interested in submitting an article for consideration, please email your ideas. I'd love to hear from you. We hope our work continues to bring inspiration to your world. Thank you for being a part of our growing community and please continue to send your wonderful feedback.


Steve Davis



This meeting sux

facilitator models

The Point

Practicing Emotional Mastery
Manage your internal world and quickly recover from emotional imbalance

Intervention Skill

As human facilitators, at times our emotions arise when facilitating groups. You may find yourself feeling angry or scared when a group pushes a hot button, challenges you, or your approach. You may fear being inadequate or ill-equipped to handle an emerging group conflict, or moved by deep emotional outpourings of a group member. Or you may find yourself identifying with the pain or sadness expressed by a participant.

To be effective in your role as a facilitator, you must be able to manage your feelings, whatever their source. This doesn't mean that you repress them. It means that you are aware of what's going on inside, that you own your feelings as your own, that you heed the message that they have for you, and act on it constructively.


So what is emotional mastery? What are emotions, for that matter? A simple way to view emotions is simply energy in motion. They become problems only when we judge them as wrong, bad, inappropriate, etc. When we misperceive our emotions, we may miss the message that they carry or stuff them down, only for them to emerge stronger later.

Emotional mastery is the ability to be with our emotions so that their message gets to us, and their energy is used for appropriate action.

I love how Peter McWilliams interprets the purpose of our basic emotions in his book, Do It.

bullet Fear is the energy to do your best in a new situation.
bullet Guilt is the energy for personal change-it is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change.
bullet Unworthiness keeps us on track--just as we can have anything we want, we can't have everything we want. So too, we are worthy of anything we want, but we may not be worthy of everything we want.
bullet Hurt feelings are a reminder of how much we care.

So how can you we this information as a facilitator? I suggest that you release any old beliefs you hold around emotions and begin to cultivate present moment awareness as your emotions arise. Begin to look at them, not as good or bad, but simply with curiosity.

Examples. Here are some examples of how your emotions might be effectively expressed in a group:

bullet To help validate a participant and to help them feel more connected to themselves, you may share the feelings arising in you as a result of them sharing their experience.
bullet To assist a group in moving through pettiness and resistance to being fully present, you might express some of the anger and frustration you feel.
bullet If you feel tears of sadness arising as a result of someone sharing something deeply personal, letting this emotion flow displays your humanness and builds trust with the group.
bullet If you feel anger and frustration over the group not moving the way you think it should, use this energy to be fully present and fully honest with the participants about your experience.

These examples are not meant to show how you can use emotion to manipulate participants, but as possible positive outcomes of sharing authentic feeling.

Add Your Comments


Your assignment this week is to practice observing emotions that arise in you and release judgments you might have about them. Focus instead on listening to the message they hold for you. And if you should be so bold, act on this message by expressing the emotion in a constructive fashion. We are interested in hearing what happens for you. Please click on Add Your Comments to share your questions, feedback, or experience.
I'd love to hear from you.

This Week's Offer

30% Emotional Intelligence Courseware

(Enter VIP30 at Checkout)

Emotional Intelligence Workbook
A 62-page workbook that you can use as the foundation of your own courses. Workbook is structured around the following four aspects of emotional intelligence:
bullet Self-Awareness
bullet Managing Your Actions and Behaviors
bullet Group awareness
bullet Managing Group Actions and Behaviors

The common thread that runs through these four aspects is the ‘Resilience Factor’ or the ability to be aware, open, flexible and courageous to manage the actions and behaviors of the self and the group.

This course is designed to accomplish the following learning objectives.
bullet Empower yourself and others
bullet Learn the art of emotional mastery
bullet Enhance your negotiation power
bullet Manage emotions and communicate effectively in challenging situations
bullet Understand how to expand personal influence
bullet Expand your ability to be creative and innovative

Bonus: Workbook comes with 53-page Powerpoint presentation that you can use in your own courses

Click here to preview the first chapter of the course

Click here for more details


About the satisfaction guarantee

If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with this product, simply email us with a request to refund/credit your credit card in the full amount and we will do so immediately. It's our policy to do this and we honor this in every single case.

©2001-2013. Powered by, Madison, WI.. All Rights Reserved.