Facilitator Journal | Issue #0430, February 9, 2010
I've seen a lot of great conflict resolution models and theories over the years. Many of them take a bit of cognitive capacity to grasp and especially to remember in the heat of conflict. When conflict shows up in a group, the higher mental faculties (of those in conflict and my own) aren't often operating at their peak. During times like these, if we use a model at all, it needs to be very simple and memorable. In this week's article, Got Conflict? Take an ASPIRIN and Call me in the Morning, we present just such a model. I hope you find it useful and as always, I look forward to your feedback.
Facilitating at a Distance coming March 22nd : Essentials of Teleclass & Virtual Meeting Facilitation. This class is for those of you wanting to offer a teleclass but don't feel you have all the skills and knowledge you need to do so, or for managers working with distributed teams that require you to facilitate virtual meetings. See details at the end of this issue. Register by February 28th at
Journey of Facilitation and Collaboration Workshop (JOFC). Our Summer session of the JOFC Workshop is now open for registration! We'll be meeting the week of June 7th in Madison Wisconsin...check out this opportunity to learn an Integrally Informed Approach to Facilitation and Leadership. Click here for details and registration. Here's a wonderful testimonial from one of our readers who attended last month:
Props and Costumes for Trainers. Check out this site I found with props and costumes you can use to spice up your trainings and group work.
Making Your Virtual Trainings More Interactive. As many of you know, I've been using Maestro Conference for the past year learning to make virtual trainings more interactive and engaging. I'm offering low cost demos of the system if you'd like to try it for your new or existing teleclasses or virtual meetings. I'll run the technology for you and if you want, even help you design and facilitate the event. Click here to view the various options.
We hope our work continues to bring inspiration to your world. Thank you for being a part of our growing community. Please continue to send the wonderful feedback.
Got Conflict? Take an ASPIRIN and Call me in the Morning.
Learn this simple strategy for dealing with conflict.
Group Dynamics Skill
I've seen a lot of great conflict resolution models and theories over the years. Many of them take a bit of cognitive capacity to grasp and especially to remember in the heat of conflict. When conflict shows up in a group, the higher mental faculties (of those in conflict and my own) aren't often operating at their peak. During times like these, if we use a model at all, it needs to be very simple and memorable.
Go back to the last time you were in the midst of a conflict. What did it feel like in your body? For me, my head heats up and thoughts are comin fast. It almost feels like I need an aspirin.
I offer the following model that we can hopefully remember and actually use when things heat up. Tell me what you think.
When people get bothered and tension rises, it may be time for an ASPIRIN...
A: Ally. Befriend the conflictor(s). Let them know that you are there for them, looking out for their needs and interests.
S: Specifics. Ask the conflictor to describe their specific concern. Find out what they see, hear, and feel and the meaning they ascribe to these perceptions.
P: Protection. Balance protecting the group with protecting the conflictor(s). Maintain an environment that is safe for everyone. You may have to be a traffic cop here, enforcing basic operating agreements, and putting a stop to disrespectful behavior. A break might even be required to let everyone cool down for a few minutes.
I: Interests. Inquire into the conflictor's personal or professional interests. Find out how what they want and why they want it.
R: Review. Rephrase what you've heard so far and help the group decide if they would benefit by processing this issue now or deciding on another time and place.
I: Improvise. Use the above guidelines to generate and synthesize options for a course of action that feels right for all concerned. Trust your instincts and intuition.
N: Norms. Is the source of the problem you just encountered covered in your operating agreements or ground rules? If not, check in with group to see if they should be modified to prevent similar issues from arising in the future.
Is this a strategy you'd be willing to try in your groups or in your own life? What simple model have you used for resolving conflict that you've found to be effective? Please reply to this email and let me know. I'd love to hear from you!
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