Master Facilitator Journal

Master Facilitator Journal | Issue #0369, Nov 18, 2008

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This is a message from Neerja’s to Master facilitator journal readers: We have handed over the day to day responsibilities to Steve. It was an honor to serve in a way where we were able to express our creativity without limitations. We will ever remain grateful to Steve for believing in us and supporting us through this wonderful journey. We will continue to learn from and contribute to this wonderful community.

Neerja submitted this week's article entitled, A Leader Without Pride. I am eternally grateful to her and Deepak for their loving support of FacilitatorU in my absence and look forward to working with them in other ways moving forward.

Facilitating at a Distance Self-Guided teleclass teaches the Essentials of Teleclass & Virtual Meeting Facilitation. This class is for trainers or coaches wanting to offer a teleclass but don't feel that they have all the skills and knowledge they need to do so, or for managers working with distributed teams that require you to facilitate virtual meetings. See details here.

The week of January 12th my colleagues at the University of Wisconsin and I are offering the increasingly popular Journey of Collaboration and Facilitation workshop in Madison Wisconsin. We only have five spaces left and I would love to meet some of you there in person. The workshop is highly experiential and brings an integral focus to facilitation that we feel is lacking in many trainings of this type. Details, testimonials, and a recorded teleclass explaining this offering can be found here.

We hope our work continues to bring inspiration to your world. Thank you for being a part of our growing community. Please continue to send the wonderful feedback.



journey of collaboration

The Point

A Leader Without Pride
Leading groups is a fast track to personal fulfillment

Group Process Skill

Leading groups is a fast track to personal fulfillment. Group wisdom has the power to shine the light on our strengths and also underlying limitations. The nature of groups is so seductive that limitations come to the surface of our awareness. It is through these moments of awareness we can break the chains of ordinary existence. The more fulfilled we become the more we can give and thus in giving we receive.

Fulfillment comes from the connection to the group. There is an element to this profound connection that is inspiring, creative and expansive. Due to the nature of its magnitude, it can give the false image of personal power, however, without the connection, the power vanishes.
As a leader when we begin to surrender to this connection the walls of separation, ego and judgment dissolve. What remains is the extraordinary!


Leaders understand that the connection comes into being from a place of absolute acceptance. Any amount of resistance breaks the flow of connection. The greatest human desire is that sense of connectedness and on the other hand, at the root of resistance is isolation. False pride is born in isolation and can only be dissolved in the magnitude of connectedness. Without the experience of connectedness, group resistance increases resulting in frustration. What stands in the way of group collaboration is a false sense of pride.

I know of a leader who is a physicist, mathematician, philosopher, musician, painter, and an exceptional cook. He wrote his thesis on the ‘String Theory’. He is the most humble person I have come across, he is not the one to initiate a conversation and yet everyone is drawn to him when he speaks. There is a sense of conviction, simplicity and connection to any amounts of discussions around him. He has the knack of making the most complicated subject simple and easy to understand. His mind is open to the point where he has mastered both the rational and the creative brain. The connection is deep within him and around him. He clearly models a leader without pride.


Expressing from a place of no-pride requires complete openness. Like an empty cup open to what pours in. Wise men and women have one thing in common, they know for sure that they don’t know enough. When we don’t know enough we become open, innocent and curious.
As leaders, we sometimes forget that without the presence of the group, there would not be an interaction. When we cling to the false sense of pride, we have lost the connection to the group. One way out of this obsessive clinging is to put things in perspective.

When you experience opposition, know that staying open to the other’s perspective will create and open a new pathway. Next time you feel a sense of pride disconnecting the flow of the group, take a deep breath and remember the MASTER steps as follows:


Mediate – For instance consider a group member who has completely shut down from the group discussions. You may begin to sense resistance towards what is transpiring. The key is to mediate as a third person between the resistance you are feeling and the person who is shutting down. The best resolution will come after the resistance has been dealt with. The wisdom is in the resistance. Before working on the person who is shutting down, work on the resistance and see what comes forth.

– Resistance provides a great opportunity to deepen our wisdom. Learn to appreciate the resistance and become comfortable with the discomfort it brings.

– Sense the resistance fully and be with it. What does not kill you makes you strong.

– Know that the resistance has shown up to be released. All you have to do is trust the natural intelligence and allow it to unfold.

– Enjoy the process, this is the best schooling opportunity we will ever have. So dive deep and learn. As we begin to let go of our attachment to the outcome and stay present to what is, we open up to new ways of thinking, feeling and doing.

Return – Now that you have become open once again, return to the connection!
Stay open to directly experiencing the richness that comes from this deep connection. Everything you want to know and experience as a leader exists in this connection.

Please send us your questions and comments.

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