Master Facilitator Journal

Master Facilitator Journal | Issue #0360, Sept 15, 2008
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This week’s article is about finding the perfection in who we are, and developing our unique Self-Expression.

bullet We are excited to invite you for a women's weekend retreat, Journey to Resilience, Creating Enlightened Leaders at the Blue Mountain Retreat Center, Oct 31, Nov 1 & 2. Click here for more details and to register for the retreat.

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The Point
Finding the Perfection in Who You Are!
Your Unique Self-Expression

Intervention Skill

When we search for perfection by comparing and measuring up to someone, underneath the illusion of perfectionism lies brutalism. We simply cannot compare apples to oranges. Only the human mind is capable of creating a deception around comparison. Even if you wear the mask of an orange, guaranteed another fruit will appear more appealing as the real problem is in the inner state of dissatisfaction. This type of thinking creates havoc and pain.

Either the bar keeps rising or the desire keeps growing. The fact is if you have not reached perfection based on your expectations, don’t hold your breath, chances are the bar will continue to rise and you will not reach it any time soon. The question is, if perfection cannot be reached, does it really exist?

Perfectionism is when comparison is not. Each time we compare we cause distress and anxiety.
Have you been compared to the best? Well more than likely the best has been compared to the very best and the very best has been compared to the extremely best.

You may ask what is the motivation for change if I were not to compare myself to someone better? When the motivation for change is driven by external factors (i.e. someone greater), then we have too many followers and no real leaders. The result is dysfunctional patterns such as depression, addiction, boredom and meaninglessness. When the motivation is driven by internal factors (i.e. innate talents), then true leaders are born expressing their essence and spreading and sharing their fragrance.


Last month I wanted to introduce a soul provoking teleclass and I was very drawn to bring the idea of ‘Creating Presence’ to the community as it happens to be my passion and quest. So I began to research and look through different books to bring this concept alive in a meaningful way. To my disappointment my head began to spin in circles… some of what I saw was too theoretical with scientific research behind it, looking at the information my inner critic wanted to drop the idea of teaching this teleclass. I did not think I could bring the idea to perfection with what I had researched, as I had little academic facts and was going to base majority of the courseware on my real life experience.

I decided to let go of the comparisions and put the task to rest. The next morning, I woke up with images and ideas pouring into my mind like someone had opened the flood gates. I sat up and wrote for the next several hours capturing the ideas on paper and had a workbook ready in less than a week. Of course thanks to Steve’s great infrastructure, all I had to do was pour the ideas over his design and structure and voila, a workshop was born!

When the mind is busy comparing and researching, the voice of our unique self-expression takes a back seat. When we let go of the mental gymnastic, out pours our unique self-expression in the most profound way and by golly, it will leave you speechless.


Very much like the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder; perfection also lies in the eyes of the beholder. More important than acquiring perfection, becoming comfortable with who you are will dissolve the problem. When you stop chasing the idea of perfection, low and behold you find it within you.

So whether it exists or not has little to do with the measuring cups of perfection and has much to do with how one experiences it, senses it and beholds it. When we look through the lens of a measuring cup we are looking for faults, missing links and a glass half empty mentality. Beyond the finish line and measuring cups, perfection exists within you in this very instance and when we peel the layers of labels, we find perfection in this instant. This is where our search ends for the false and our unique self-expression unfolds.

Accept yourself as you are because the unreachable path to perfection is a brutal reality. Perfectionism is simply overrated – it is as though we are chasing a mirage.

Wake up to your unique Self-Expression and begin to live in the perfection of who you are. Break the measuring cup and become free of the dogmas that come with the isms attached to perfectionism.

Celebrate yourself, your essence, the present moment and know that you are perfect in this very moment.

Please send us your questions and comments.

This Week's Offer



Journey to Resilience
Creating Enlightened Leaders

Weekend retreat
with Neerja Arora Bhatia & Linda Kolstee-Ozkaynak

October 31, November 1 and 2

We invite you to join us in creating experiences which will evoke transformation through reaching the heart, mind, spirit and body. We will meet in a beautiful, natural setting at the Blue Mountain Retreat Center (Greater Washington DC)

As women leaders, facilitators and coaches, our core strength determines our ability to leave a lasting impact on the lives we touch. We owe it to ourselves and those we impact to make our core unshakable.

Upon completion gain inner wisdom to practice the following:
bullet From comparisons to unique self expression
bullet From avoidance to acceptance
bullet From holding on to letting go
bullet From conquering and competing to collaborating
bullet From problem solving to creative resolution
bullet From beating ourselves to lifting ourselves
bullet From being stuck to flying

Click here for more information

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