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Manage your internal
world--quickly recover from emotional imbalance.
a human facilitator, when facilitating group process, your own
emotions are likely to come up occasionally. At times, you may
find yourself feeling anger rise as a group pushes a hot button
of yours or challenges you or your approach. You may face fears
of being inadequate or ill-equipped to handle an emerging group
conflict, or deep emotional outpourings of a group member. Or
you may find yourself identifying with the pain or sadness
expressed by a participant.
To be effective in your role as a facilitator, you must be able
to manage your feelings, whatever their source. This doesn't
mean that you repress them. It means that you are aware of
what's going on inside, that you own your feelings as your own,
and that you heed the message that they have for you, and act on
So what is emotional mastery? What are emotions, for that
matter? A simple way to view emotions is simply energy in
motion. They become problems only when we judge them as wrong,
bad, inappropriate, etc. When we misperceive our emotions, we
may miss the message that they carry or stuff them down, only
for them to emerge stronger later. Emotional mastery is the
ability to process our emotions so that their message gets to
us, and their energy is used for appropriate action.
I love how Peter McWilliams interprets the purpose of our basic
emotions in his book, "Do It."
- Fear is the energy to do your best in a new situation.
- Guilt is the energy for personal change-it is anger directed
toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change.
- Unworthiness keeps us on track--just as we can have anything
we want, we can't have everything we want. So too, we are worthy
of anything we want, but we may not be worthy of everything we
- Hurt feelings are a reminder of how much we care.
So how can you use this information as a facilitator? I suggest
that you release any old beliefs you hold around emotions and
begin to cultivate present moment awareness as your emotions
arise. Begin to look at them, not as good or bad, but simply
with curiosity, and with the question, what's energy for?
are some examples of how your emotions might be effectively
expressed in a group:
- To help validate a participant and to help them feel more
connected to themselves, you may share the feelings arising in
you as a result of them sharing their experience.
- To assist a group in moving through pettiness and resistance
to being fully present, you might express some of the anger and
frustration you feel observing their process.
- If you feel tears of sadness arising as a result of someone
sharing something deeply personal, letting this emotion flow
displays your humanness and builds trust with the group.
- If you feel anger and frustration over the group not moving
the way you think it should, use this energy to be fully present
and fully honest with the participants about their process.
These examples are not meant to show how you can use emotion to
manipulate participants, but as possible positive outcomes of
sharing authentic emotions.
assignment this week is to practice reinterpreting your
emotions. Practice observing emotions that arise in you and
release prior judgments you might have about them. Focus instead
on listening to the message they hold for you. And if you should
be so bold, act on this message by expressing the emotion in a
positive fashion. Iím interested in hearing what happens for
you. Please email
me right away and let me know what happened. I'd love to hear
Master Your Emotions Course
The Master Your Emotions
course, is very useful in getting clearer about how emotions
affect your life. Use this program to become much more aware
about how you react without thinking in so many situations, and
learn a few simple tricks to help calm yourself at such times.
Many have found this course very useful. It lasts for 8 months,
and you receive a new lesson each month. If you want to find out
more about the course, and get some free tips on mastering your
emotions, please visit the following web site: Master
What Do Facilitators Charge For Their Services?
We've included a question from Carol
Markett and we're looking for perspectives from
those of you that do paid facilitation gigs out there. Thank you
for your question!
I have a friend who has been asked to facilitate a workshop for
6-8 weeks for 40-50 hours. She knows nothing about pay rates for
facilitators. Can you give her some advice about how much to
charge for her services? thanks so much
us your input on this question or go to our Topic
Forum to answer it. Thanks for your help in
making the MasterFacilitatorJournal.com
site the best facilitation resource site on the web!