Facilitator Journal | Issue #0238, January 10, 2006 ....
Often in our work as facilitators, coaches, trainers, and consultants,
we encounter individuals who are stuck emotionally in one behavior
pattern or another and the nature of the group and your role in
it may allow for an intervention designed to release it. This week's
article entitled, "Healing Polarities by Embracing What We
Least Want," was submitted by my friend and fellow coach, Richard
Ross. It offers a simple but effective process you can use on yourself
or with your clients, individually or en masse, to help them release
Richard is also our guest at our next expert interview coming next
Thursday, January 19th at 1:00 PM ET. See details after the article.
Also to enhance your intervention skills in heated situations, we're
offering a new teleclass this month with authors and trainers Dee
Kelsey and Pam Plumb of
Great Meetings! Inc.
Details of their new 5-day teleclass, "Putting Out Brush Fires,"
are included at the end of this week's article. Please join us for
this new offering to kick of the new year with new perspectives
on handling those most difficult situations you face in groups.
Have a great week!
here for details
here for details
Polarities by Embracing What We Least Want
A simple process to facilitate the release of negative patterns
In various writings about emotional issues in people’s lives, you have
probably seen reference to the term polarity, as well as the term shadow.
One way to notice when we have a polarity within our lives is when we
have an unwanted situation that never seems to completely heal or resolve.
This is often because we have a fixed, negatively charged, viewpoint about
our situation (or about someone close to us).
Another way of explaining this phenomenon is to say that, with every unwanted
issue in our life (fear, trauma, limiting belief & stuck situation),
we always have a strong aversion to that situation. In other words, we
have a lot of negative energy and judgment around being in that situation,
or in having that issue. If it is a big issue, we dislike it immensely,
and we dislike the fact that we are in it.
All of this is pretty obvious, isn't it? You may be wondering "so,
what's the big deal".
Here is my belief, and it may seem somewhat unconventional. I believe
that it's often our negative energy ABOUT being IN the unwanted situation
that helps to KEEP us stuck in it. When we have a lot of judgment about
our problem, we have created an energy dynamic that can, and usually does,
keep it literally locked in place.
Here is a short and simple exercise I created, that will help loosen the
grip of any unwanted situation, or issue, in your life. It is simple,
but it does take a degree of openness and courage.
I encourage you to try it, but only if it feels right to do so.
Incidentally, the more negative charge you have about the issue, the more
profound and positive will be the result of this exercise. So pick a situation
or issue you Really DON'T WANT!
Warning: If you presently in therapy or under the care
of a professional practitioner, DO NOT do this exercise without first
obtaining their permission.
An exercise in healing polarities by embracing what we least want.
1) Get into a comfortable position, sitting or lying down. Take a full
breath in and out.
2) Spend a few moments thinking about the UNWANTED situation. Fully feel
and experience the situation, and feel the negativity of the situation.
Feel how you want it to be gone! Do this ONLY for a few moments. You may
want to have your eyes closed when you are doing this part, and then closed
again when you are doing steps 3 and 5 that follow.
3) After you have "felt" the issue, or unwanted situation, spend
a minute imagining yourself EMBRACING the unwanted issue, or unwanted
situation. Feel yourself APPRECIATING the problem, and ENJOYING the problem,
LOVING the problem, just the way it is, totally free of all judgment about
it. Make the feelings very real. Do this part for about a minute or two,
or longer as it feels comfortable to do so.
4) Take a full breath in and out.
5) Now spend a few moments thinking about the DESIRED POSITIVE situation
instead. In other words, what you IDEALLY WANT in your life in place of
the old issue. Imagine yourself EMBRACING the desired situation. Feel
yourself APPRECIATING and ENJOYING the desired result. Now make it even
BETTER. Make it even MORE JOYFUL! Do this part for about a minute or two,
or longer as it feels comfortable to do so.
6) Take another full breath in and out.
7) Reflect on the original issue again and notice whether you have released
any of the original intensity, or if it has diminished. If there has not
been a positive change, it probably means you need to make the step 3
feelings MORE real. Go through the complete process again with that in
If this brief exercise has had a positive effect, consider trying it on
About the Author. Richard Ross is the developer of the Emotional
Freedom & Healing modalities and he supports his clients in quickly
moving past longstanding issues and seeming limitations, and living a
more joyful, fulfilled life. You can learn more about Richard, his practice,
and his free newsletter, by visiting him at http://www.emotionalfreedom.com.
Do the above
exercise on a. Let
me know what happens, I'd love
to hear from you.
to Emotional Freedom and Healing...
a revolutionary approach to transforming and eliminating challenges
and blocks for you and your clients.
Richard Ross, a transformational mentor, coach, spiritual
counselor, and facilitator of personal healing.
created unique processes that gently and quickly heal all type of
fears, seeming blocks, and limiting beliefs. Over the past ten years
he developed the "EF&H" work as a completely new system
for healing and personal transformation that is gentle, fast, and
effective, offering nearly immediate and permanent relief.
This call is both a learning and an experiential process, offering
both an introduction to Emotional Freedom Modalities, as well as
an opportunity to experience the power of this work using your own
personal issues. Through a powerful guided session on this call,
you may work on releasing old painful memories, allowing abundance
and prosperity in your life, healing your relationships with loved
ones and others, being a better facilitator, or eliminating any
unwanted beliefs that prevent you from becoming a full expression
of who you are.
Bring your personal issue(s) to the call, and be assured that you
will not be asked to reveal or discuss your issues. You will receive
the full benefit of this work simply by your participation, intention,
and focus to release your particular challenge.
Note: This is NOT simply the basic Emotional Freedom
Technique (EFT) process you may have seen offered elsewhere. Richard's
work draws on EFT and a wide range of cutting edge emotional release
processes. This guided sample session can shift, on the spot, your
entire concept of what you are capable of in your work and in your
Attend this live, one-hour
tele-seminar with Richard Ross and
Steve Davis on Thursday, January
19th at 1:00 PM EST (NY Time). Besides the experiential
component, some of the points we'll discuss are...
Who are you and what do you do in your Mentoring and Healing Practice?
Where do these healing modalities come from, and how is your work
different from coaching, or traditional therapies and other counseling
What kinds of "issues or situations" can be transformed
with this work, and typically how long might it take? How can it
specifically help Facilitators, Trainers, and Group Leaders?
Is your work more useful or effective with particular kinds of situations,
or with clients having certain belief systems?
Are there any other reasons why so many of us often have difficulty
healing old negative patterns and/or reaching new goals?
Do I need to know the original cause of the issue (the core belief(s))
in order to heal, release, or clear something?
Will the participants on this call leave the session with any tools
or methods that they can then use on their own to further their
A personal experience of EF&H you can apply to any emotional
issue that's present for you.
Here's what a recent participant said:
class was awesome for me. You touched directly on the issues I brought
with me....love, forgiveness & anger. I do not have a number
[scale of intensity] I can give those issues now...I feel very peaceful
today. I am in a 12-step program & had been working on those
issues for 2 yrs now.
25-minute MP3 Audio "Releasing Resistance." This
is a powerful guided process, that can be used to release resistance
in any area of one's life, where one wishes to move ahead. Also
included is a preparation email, that tells the you how to get the
most out of the process.
seminar is free to FacilitatorU.com members.
Click here to view features and benefits of membership.
for details about this interview and registration.
In the near future Richard Ross will offer a "live" teleclass
training in a full range of energy healing and release modalities. The series
will be a one-hour weekly, six-week teleclass program, rich in content,
personal healing, and it will be a transformative experience for all participants.
Richard says "As we begin the New Year, many of us are feeling a strong
desire to become more aligned with our true life purpose. For most of us
this means more fully expressing all of our gifts and abilities in our life
and our work."
Enrollment will be limited to a maximum of 18, to assure personal support
and attention. For advance information and details, send a blank email to
with Subject: "Training".
Would you like to republish this or other articles from the journal? You
are free to do so providing you follow these guidelines.
Out Brush Fires...
to intervene in
difficult group situations
how to effectively
intervene when things
heat up in your groups
January 23rd - 27th, 2006, 10:00 AM Pacific, 1:00 PM Eastern
one hour each day.
Do non-stop talkers, silent groups or dramatic conflicts ever knock
your meetings off track? These meeting situations take a toll on a group’s
ability to work together and cost time and money. This 5 hour teleclass,
taught by Dee Kelsey and Pam Plumb, authors of Great Meetings! Great
Results, will increase your ability to know when and how to intervene
effectively in difficult situations to get your meetings back on track.
You will find the course Putting out Brush Fires: Intervening in Difficult
Situations to be highly interactive. Each class
includes a short content presentation, discussion, demonstration, participant
exercise, debrief, and discussion of application. This course if for
anyone who facilitates, manages, teaches, mediates, coaches, counsels,
directs any group.
Benefits to you for participating
in this Training...
your ability to know when and how to intervene in difficult situations.
2. Get practice and coaching on your intervention skills to internalize
your ability to intervene.
3. Gain confidence to manage challenges with ease so your meetings will
be more productive and more fun.
4. A chance to work through the specific kinds of issues you face with
5. Collaborate and learn from a community of your peers, all passionate
about empowering groups.
the Training works...
1. You dial into your class every day for a 60 minute focused training
segment using a conferencing bridge.
2. You work through a learning/resource workbook which accompanies the
class including practice assignments after each session.
4. You will have the opportunity to discuss issues on the subject matter
with your classmates via a listserve during the course.
5. You have access to the instructors via email for help on specific
Out Brushfires Training Agenda...
Here's what you'll be learning and doing during the course...
Day one: Introduction to each other and the course
What is a “brush fire”?
Why does intervention matter?
are our values for framing interventions?
two: Know yourself and assess the situation
- Staying grounded
in the face of difficult situations
- Gaining insight
into your personal reactions to brush fires
- Knowing how
to get and stay grounded
- Assessing the
of the Great Meetings! Intervention model
- What to
look for when considering an intervention
- What questions
to ask to determine if an intervention is needed
three: Step into the situation: interrupting
- Different ways
as one key tool
and personal frames on interrupting
- The Art
of the technique to your own situations
Four: Step into the situation: other intervention options
- Review of Intervention
- Examples of
- Choosing the
- Choosing the
right level of intervention
of the techniques to your own situations
Five: Help the group move on and prepare to prevent difficulties
- Moving on from
what the group needs
- Good preparation:
essential to preventing difficulties
- Parking lot
- Questions and
- Wrap up and
included with your training...
In addition to the training described above, you also receive:
1. A downloadable version of the book, Great Meetings! ($25 value) and
a 20-page workbook to serve as resources in the future ($15 value)
2. Free access to the RealAudio version of the training ($69 value).
3. Articles and resources around using Improv in leadership and facilitation:
- Steps for
negotiating conflict in a group.
- Meeting Assessment checklist: Questions to ask during the client
The full cost of training/access is only $99 including the free items
( worth $109) listed above. Everything you read about above is included.
And, we offer a 100%-satisfaction-guaranteed guarantee.
January 23-27, 2006, One hour each day, Monday through Friday,
10:00 AM Pacific, 1:00 PM Eastern (NY Time).
Immediately upon completion of your registration, you will receive an
email with instructions to access the course and free article bank.
This course is limited to 20 individuals on a first come basis.
Early registration discount.
Register by January 15th for only $89.
Click here to register
Become a member of FacilitatorU.com premium member and register for
this teleclass at half price in addition to a host of other items and
benefits. An exceptional value. Click
here for details.
in a one-day "live" version of this class offered to your
us to discuss options.
Dee Kelsey. Dee has been
facilitating groups since her teenage years. She turned her early interests
into more formal work both as a trainer and personnel representative
at Hewlett Packard and as a mediator and trainer of mediators for the
city of Palo Alto, California. In addition to her work with Great
Meetings! Inc, she has been principal of Dee Kelsey and Associates
since 1985. She has worked nationally to provide organizational development,
facilitation, process consultation, mediation, and training services
to hundreds of clients ranging from small work groups to large corporations.
About Pam Plumb. Pam discovered
during her years as a City Councilor and Mayor of Portland that effective
meeting planning and facilitation made a big difference in meeting outcomes
In 1991, she created Pamela Plumb & Associates which serves a wide
range of non-profit organizations, businesses and government organizations
with process design, facilitation, training and organizational development.
She is known internationally for her process work and training in municipal
About the satisfaction
If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with this package, simply
email us with a request to refund/credit your credit card in the full
amount and we will do so immediately. It's our policy to do this and
we honor this in every single case. This policy completely removes the
buying risk for you and keeps our customer-satisfaction rates extremely