Master Facilitator Journal | Issue #0163| July 27, 2004 | 8,000 Subscribers...

Dear friends,

This week's article, "
Primal Facilitation," explores the blending of Daniel Goleman's four domains of emotional intelligence with the primal energies of masculine and feminine as applied to our roles as facilitators. Goleman's model was intended to help leaders draw from a larger repertoire of skills to meet appropriate scenarios. Certainly these apply to the group leader as well. Overlaying the dynamic and static feminine and masculine traits brings yet another dimension to bear on the big picture of facilitation and reminders as to how we might round out these skills in our groups.

On a personal note, I'm having a great time in Boulder visiting my friend and fellow coach, Anna Dargitz. I'm heading off to Crestone today to visit another close friend and colleague, Lisa Micklin. It's great being in the high, cool country, getting a summer break from the scorching Mojave desert.
I look forward to your comments on this article and anything else you'd like ask or share about group work.

In this Issue:

Feature Article: Primal Facilitation

Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence

New 5-Day Teleclass: Growing Through Conflict.

If any of you have any interesting stories or experiences about facilitation, group process, work groups, team building, training, etc. that might interest our readers, please send them to us.

Have a great week!

Steve Davis

Self-Mastery Skill

Primal Facilitation
Access appropriate domains of emotional intelligence in your group work.

The Point


As human beings, we each embody the combined energies of masculine and feminine, often referred to as "primal energies." When in balance, the dance between the masculine and feminine is poetry in motion. Learning to balance these energies is part of our journey toward mastery as group leaders and as human beings.

While facilitation may be seen by many as a largely "feminine" oriented skill set--meaning the facilitator seeks to create and manage the space necessary for others to do their work--it's important to look at how both masculine and feminine energies can be employed in a balanced fashion for effective and comprehensive group facilitation.

In his latest book, "Primal Leadership," Daniel Goleman identifies the four domains of emotional intelligence--self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management--and how the development of these four competencies spawns different leadership styles. The best leaders maintain a style repertoire, switching easily between "visionary," "coaching," "affiliative," and "democratic."

Bert Parlee, of the Integral Institute proposes a blending of Goleman's four domains with dynamic and static primal energies. I believe this model relates and informs not only leadership styles, but facilitative styles as well. These domains and their associated qualities are summarized in the table below:

(Static Masculine)

Precise, patient, planning, perseverant, methodical, detail-oriented, organizing, strategizing, serious.

(Dynamic Masculine)

Risk-taking, quick, strong, protective, confident, persuasive, forceful, competitive, inspiring.

Social Awareness
(Static Feminine)

Relaxed, trusting, supportive, helpful, nurturing, passive.

Relationship Management
(Dynamic Feminine)

Enthusiastic, creative, emotional, meaning-making, playful, adaptable, imaginative, demonstrative.

Just as attachment to any one of these styles limits our leadership capacity, imbalance between masculine and feminine energies can cause problems too. Sharon Shane, in her book, "In the Garden of the Goddess," tells us how masculine and feminine show up in the world both in and out of balance:

"If there is an over emphasis of [static] feminine energy everything remains in passivity, lying dormant, and our creative potential is unable to be expressed in the world. Imagine the daydreamers who can never quite actualize their dreams. Their creativity is stillborn.

The energy of the masculine will take action to bring the feminine imagination into materialization. Masculine energy is interested in the form of creation and what shape it takes. Without this strong, dynamic will everything would rest in inertia and nothing would be made concrete. It is the state of doing. When there is an overemphasis of too much masculine energy, the Spirit expresses itself in the form of willful domination. Even though they may be extremely active in their daily routine, a person with an imbalance of too much masculine energy will be out of touch with their intuition and usually lacking in imagination and nurturing qualities.

Whereas the feminine is conceptual and perceptual, the masculine is generative and productive. The will of the masculine aspect moves in a direct line, while the feminine bends and curves. In our current civilization, both the male and female genders of the mass, collective consciousness have swung into an overbalance of masculine energy and not enough feminine. The pendulum is slowly shifting back towards the center, as each individual participates in reclaiming the feminine within. In order to balance the scales, the soft curving energy of the feminine needs to help the strong, dynamic masculine will to become more flexible. To attack a situation straight on is not always the best solution, but to weave and arch around and in between can create the space to generate the energy of cooperation."


Static Masculine

We manifest Static Masculine as a facilitator by staying conscious to our own inner process--being aware of what's going on inside us, our biases, insights, intuitions, and experiences--we share them with our groups in service to moving them forward. The static masculine helps others become more self-aware. He helps groups clarify their mission, vision, and reason for being, patiently letting the group get to where it wants to go on its own terms. He is the visionary, the "Good King."

Dynamic Masculine

We manifest Dynamic Masculine whenever we need to shake a group out of stagnation (group think, inaction, over-processing) and into action. Further, we employ this strength when protecting group members from hostility or attack from other members. Conflict resolution will sometimes require the sword of the dynamic masculine facilitator to cut through confusion, misunderstanding, aggression, and malaise to inspire a group to focus together on moving toward the realization of their collective vision. He is the "Warrior."

Static Feminine

We manifest Static Feminine when nurturing and validating individual and group behaviors, engaging in activities and behaviors that build trust and healthy relationships. Static Feminine knows when to take a passive but supportive stance, trusting the process and allowing her group to do its own work. She is sensitive to the group culture and supports the group in finding ways to work together that clarify and honor its beliefs and values. She is the sustainer, the "Great Mother."

Dynamic Feminine

We manifest Dynamic Feminine when we design and facilitate active processes that will move a group forward. She fosters and inspires creativity and enthusiasm for the group cause. She brings lightness and play to break up serious and stuck energies. She makes it safe for us to express our feelings and helps us work through them in healthy ways. She helps us to work together in ways that we never imagined we could. She pleasantly surprises us with our own strengths. She is the "Medicine Woman."


Which element of the Masculine and Feminine needs work to bring you more into balance in your work as a facilitator? Make this work the theme of your coming week and practice bringing out this side of your primal nature. Please
send us your questions and comments.


Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence
by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, Annie McKee

Business leaders who maintain that emotions are best kept out of the work environment do so at their organization's peril. Best-selling author Daniel Goleman's theories on emotional intelligence (EI) have radically altered common understanding of what "being smart" entails, and in Primal Leadership, he and his coauthors present the case for cultivating emotionally intelligent leaders. Since the actions of the leader apparently account for up to 70 percent of employees' perception of the climate of their organization, Goleman and his team emphasize the importance of developing what they term "resonant leadership."

Focusing on the four domains of emotional intelligence--self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management--they explore what contributes to and detracts from resonant leadership, and how the development of these four EI competencies spawns different leadership styles. The best leaders maintain a style repertoire, switching easily between "visionary," "coaching," "affiliative," and "democratic," and making rare use of less effective "pace-setting" and "commanding" styles. The authors' discussion of these methods is informed by research on the workplace climates engendered by the leadership styles of more than 3,870 executives. Indeed, the experiences of leaders in a wide range of work environments lend real-life examples to much of the advice Goleman et al. offer, from developing the motivation to change and creating an improvement plan based on learning rather than performance outcomes, to experimenting with new behaviors and nurturing supportive relationships that encourage change and growth. The book's final section takes the personal process of developing resonant leadership and applies it to the entire organizational culture. --S. Ketchum --

In the Spotlight

Growing Through Conflict

A 5-Day Teleclass Teaching You Innovative Skills to Save and Enhance Conflicted Relationships

Led by Kaveh Nayeri, MS, an innovative business and personal coach, author, and mental health professional.

Growing Through Conflict 5-Day Teleclass

Conflicts are inevitable facts of life. They happen regularly in personal and business relationships. Unresolved conflicts can threaten and break our valuable relationships. This is often a major loss for both parties. But knowing how to conceptualize and resolve conflicts can save, heal, and strengthen our key relationships.

In this class Facilitators will learn effective conflict resolution skills that will help them feel prepared, confident, comfortable, and in control when called upon to help resolve conflicts. The class will include many discussions of real life conflicts and ways to effectively resolve them.

Benefits to you of participating from the 5-Day Training...
1. Get a great introduction to the concept and practice of conflict resolution skills.
2. Learn the hidden purpose behind a conflict and how to realize it.

3. Learn an innovative approach and key skills to help resolve conflicts.
4. Learn how to defuse conflict situations before they start.
5. Learn the five stages of conflicts and resolution techniques for each phase.

5-Day Growing Through Conflict Training Agenda...
Here's what you'll be learning and doing during the 5-Day course...


- Introduction
- Discuss participant learning objectives
- Discuss real life examples of conflict situations


- Seizing the growth opportunities
- The resolution work
- The rewards of resolving
- The consequences of avoiding
- Applying it to real life cases


- An Overview
- Identifying phases in real life cases


- Identifying early signs of dissatisfaction
- Facilitating the release of pent-up emotions
- Changing the relationship
- Real life case discussion


- Feeling prepared for conflicts
- Techniques for staying calm
- Techniques for taking control
- Techniques for defusing the tension
- Real life case discussion


- Facing the conflicted relationship
- Seeing the growth opportunities
- Understanding the work to be done
- Committing to a plan of action
- Beginning positive change
- Real life case discussion


- Guiding the positive change
- Practicing new relationship skills
- Coping with setbacks
- Monitoring progress
- Real life case discussion


- Testing the strength of the new relationship
- Reinforcing the new relationship
- Celebrating success
- Real life case discussion


- Discussion of specific conflict types based on class interest
- Common forms of relationship conflict and strategies for resolving them
- Discussion of real life cases
- Final comments and participant feedback

About Kaveh
Kaveh draws from many sources to teach conflict resolution topics. These include his many experiences observing and resolving group conflicts as facilitator, his work as a psychotherapist where he treated various forms of family conflict, his responsibilities as a social worker where he helped resolve difficult child custody disputes, and his other life experiences where he has observed marital, cultural, and organizational conflicts.

Kaveh states that conflicts of one type or another are inevitable facts of life. Conflicts between two people are tests of the strength of their relationship. They are tests that all relationships must pass so that they can survive and grow to have more value for both parties.

The full cost of training/access is only $79 for MFJ readers ($89 for the general public). Everything you read about above is included. And, we offer a 100%-satisfaction-guaranteed guarantee.

August 23-27, 2004, 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time), 60 minutes each day.


Immediately upon completion of your registration, you will receive an email with instructions to access the course. This course is limited to 20 individuals, first come, first served.

Click here to Register


Contact Kaveh at or at (858) 459-8695

About the satisfaction guarantee

If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with this package, simply email us with a request to refund/credit your credit card in the full amount and we will do so immediately. It's our policy to do this and we honor this in every single case.

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