Facilitator Journal | Issue #0161| July 13, 2004 | 8,000 Subscribers...
A couple of weeks ago, I saw the new independent film, "What
the #*%$ Do We Know." It's truly a unique cinematic creation
- really three films in one. It’s a documentary. It’s a story. It's
an animation with mind-blowing special effects. These three elements
combine to bring about a film experience that will rock your mind
and lift your soul! It explains, in simple terms, the implications
of our latest findings in quantum physics, neurology and molecular
biology--truly that we do in fact create our own reality to a much
larger degree than we typically might think.
had several people suggest I do an article reflecting on this movie
and it's implications to facilitators. So this week, I did just that.
If you'd like to find out more about the movie, I've included the
website and a short review in our resources section. I really do encourage
you to view the movie and to write and let me know how it affected
you and any implications you see for facilitators, trainers, and group
Also, Layne and Paul will cohost our next Micro-Skills Tele-Seminar
tomorrow, Wednesday, July 14th
at 1:00 PM EDT. In this one hour teleclass, Paul and Layne
will discuss with us "Why You're Never Upset for the
Reason You Think. They'll talk about their unique conflict
resolution model they call the "CURE" that we can use as
facilitators when we encounter conflicts in our groups.
any of you have any interesting stories or experiences about facilitation,
group process, work groups, team building, training, etc. that might interest
our readers, please send
them to us.
the Bleep Do We Know?
Tapping in to the Reality Files.
are change agents called into groups to help them move through barriers,
find better solutions to their problems, conflicts, and dilemmas. They
look to us to help them do what they couldn't do by themselves. They help
us clarify and define our own identities while we help them clarify theirs.
The vast majority of the time, we view ourselves as separate and distinct
from the problems or challenges we face. In the material world, this seems
to be an obvious and established condition that is beyond question. Yet
these seemingly separate particles and conditions arise from a single
source. Understanding the nature of this source and how it gives rise
to our experience can be liberating.
The recent independent film, "What the #*%$ Do We Know," offers
some fascinating insights about the nature of reality along these lines
that might be useful to review from the aspect of facilitation. So this
article includes some reflections on this movie and how it might relate
to us as group workers.
do You Intend? Reality conforms to intention. Even if we or our
groups don't believe this, challenge them, or yourself, to conduct an
experiment. Suggest that your group agree on a clear intention for their
work together. Have them clarify a vision of what they'd like to come
about as a result of their work. Ask them to hold this intention. Each
time that they notice a thought showing up at odds with their intention,
use it as a reminder to replace it with their new thought. Notice what
happens and what kind of results show up.
As a variation on the above, prior to entering your sessions, imagine
how you'd like the group to go, what results you'd love them to be able
to achieve, how you'd like to feel when it's over. Imagine your greatest
positive fantasy and "feel into it" as if it were already a
reality. In the field of unlimited possibilities, this action is like
a magnet, attracting your preferred version from the "reality"
Explore Your Thought Addictions. We are addicted to thought
forms. According to the premise of this movie, our lives tend to happen
"to" us to the degree we are controlled by our thoughts and
feelings. Thought patterns are a learned response. One could even say
learning is an addiction in a sense. By that I mean that once we learn
something we wish to repeat, we are compelled to repeat our "learned
response" each time the situation calls for it. Consciously applied,
learning is a wonderful and useful mechanism.
But we get into trouble when our reactions to certain situations are repeated
out of habit, even if ineffective. We can get addicted to these patterns
that don't work for us. No wonder it's so hard to change our minds when
what shows up as a result of our interpretation of reality actually reinforces
our interpretation. The secret here is that our interpretation is a major
collaborator in reality creation. Change that and you change reality,
at least your experience of it.
For example, imagine a fairly mediocre span of your life is interrupted
with a string of simply great occurrences and a series of days when you're
just as happy as can be. Have you had this happen then found yourself
thinking, "Well things are going great but this can't last for long."
Or even a compulsion for your mind to dwell on what's missing instead
of what isn't?
When you notice discomfort in your group, probe for old associations.
For example, Jill just suggested a retreat to develop this issue and I
felt the group react to that. Have you had retreats in the past? What
do you associate with that suggestion? What if we erase our old tapes
and make a new decision about retreats today?
Notice your addictions to thought patterns. These patterns again contribute
to creating our reality. It takes courage to own our power and change
our thoughts about what we're sure is "real." But know that
what is "real" is really malleable and responds to our beliefs
How Are You Responsible for Your Reality? There is no reality,
only perception. This movie clearly claims that what we see as "reality"
is simply a mirror into ourselves. A more powerful question than "What
is reality?" is the question, "Who are you such that your particular
flavor of reality is showing up?" If your groups are concerned with
what's showing up for them in their world, as an exercise, have them explore
the question, "If reality is a mirror, what is it telling you about
your thoughts, feelings, and actions?" Or asked in another way, "If
you were to imagine that you have entirely created the reality in front
of you, what action would you take next?"
What is reality reflecting for you? Answer this question around any particular
situation or event that's important to you and see what you discover.
us your questions and comments.
Facilitation Expert Series
You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think, and What It's Costing You
to Not Know the Real Cause.
Featuring Layne and Paul Cutright,
Authors, Trainer and Founders of The Center for Enlightened Partnership.
Attend this one-hour tele-seminar on
Wednesday, July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time).
"Just in Time" Learning
What do we mean by
"upset"? An upset is any feeling that disturbs your peace of
mind, throws you off center, causes you to feel ill at ease, uncomfortable
or troubled, makes you feel out of control, frustrated, fearful, anxious,
sad, hurt, helpless, angry, disappointed and so on.
Perhaps you can recall
a time when you felt a:
- Gnawing insecurity
about your future, perhaps when you thought you might lose your job
- or actually did lose it.
- Stab of pain when
someone you admire criticized you.
- Sting of embarrassment
when you made a mistake in front of others.
- Heavy weight of
despair in your chest as you tried to recover from a loss or rejection.
- Sinking disappointment
when someone you love let you down.
- Numbing silence
at some unexpected bad news.
Are any of these
experiences familiar to you? Do you remember feeling a loss of power or
peace in those situations?
Join Paul and Layne Cutright
July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time) for a one-hour interview where
the possibilities of a refreshingly different and highly effective approach
to permanently triumph over any upset, challenge or breakdown. They have
taught this enlightened approach to conflict resolution to thousands of
people and were recently invited
to present their conflict resolution model at the International Conference
on Conflict Resolution in St. Petersburg, Russia. Over 500 attendees represented
twenty different countries. In
this class, Paul and Layne will share how their tool, the Conscious Upset
Resolution Exercise (CURE) resolves the root cause of any upset.
Some specific points we'll discuss are...
What does the title
"You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think" mean, exactly?
You talk about "radical
personal responsibility" in your book, what do you mean by this?
Your book teaches the
Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE) what is that?
How is the CURE different
from other systems of conflict resolution?
Tell us about the two
steps in the CURE and why they're important.
You talk about using
conflict as a reminder that we have an opportunity to learn something.
How does that work?
How can we use the
CURE to resolve non-relationship conflicts or upsets.
What new possibilities
open up for our relationships, our communities and our society when we
are able to resolve our conflicts with the CURE?
And, answers to any questions you bring to the teleclass.
How to Create Powerful Partnerships e-Course $24.95 Value! Learn
the five essential keys you need to unlock the hidden potential in any
lasting relationships don't just happen by luck or accident - they are
created.This five lesson e-course will teach you specific skills and distinctions
to help you create extraordinarily successful relationships!
2. Evolutionary Relationships Audio. 20-minutes
audio discussing the aspects of enlightened partnerships.
3. Five Stages of Partnership - Self Assessment. All
relationships encounter these five predictable stages. Taking this self
assessment will allow you to see where you are strong and where you can
use support. This assessment will help you to determine your own personalized
curriculum for mastering relationships
About Layne and Paul. Layne
and Paul have created a powerful, creative partnership as both marriage
and business partners. They have taught all over the world in conference
rooms, boardrooms and living rooms. They have created, produced and led
evolutionary and transformational programs for people who want to have
lasting, successful relationships.They have an Internet learning and resource
center called The Center
for Enlightened Partnership where they offer programs online and by
telephone worldwide. Paul and Layne are authors of Straight From the Heart,
a popular book about “high performance communication”, as well as their
latest book about enlightened conflict resolution entitled, You're
Never Upset for the Reason You Think. They have a private coaching
practice in which they work with individuals, romantic couples, business
partners and creative teams.
for details about this interview, the bonuses, and registration.
the #*%$ Do We Know
What the Bleep" has won five times at Film Festivals throughout the
United States. Most recently, at the Maui Film Festival, the film received
the Audience Award for Best Hybrid Documentary.
What the #$BLEEP*! Do We Know!?” is a wake-up call to the hundreds of thousands
of people who are searching for a voice somewhere in this fragmented culture
who have been awaiting a catalyst. This
bold, funny, unique work goes to the heart of the human dilemma. It challenges
and lays waste the old Paradigms of thought and places responsibility squarely
where it belongs – on individual human consciousness.
5-Day Teleclass Teaching You Innovative Skills to Save
and Enhance Conflicted Relationships
Nayeri, MS, an innovative business and personal
coach, author, and mental health professional.
Growing Through Conflict 5-Day Teleclass
are inevitable facts of life. They happen regularly in personal
and business relationships. Unresolved conflicts can threaten
and break our valuable relationships. This is often a major
loss for both parties. But knowing how to conceptualize and
resolve conflicts can save, heal, and strengthen our key relationships.
In this class Facilitators will learn effective conflict resolution
skills that will help them feel prepared, confident, comfortable,
and in control when called upon to help resolve conflicts.
The class will include many discussions of real life conflicts
and ways to effectively resolve them.
to you of participating from the 5-Day Training...
1. Get a great introduction to the concept and practice of
conflict resolution skills.
2. Learn the hidden purpose behind a conflict and how to realize
3. Learn an innovative approach and key skills to help resolve
4. Learn how to defuse conflict situations before they start.
5. Learn the five stages of conflicts and resolution techniques
for each phase.
Through Conflict Training Agenda...
Here's what you'll be learning and doing during the 5-Day
* ABOUT CONFLICTS
- Discuss participant learning objectives
- Discuss real life examples of conflict situations
* THE HIDDEN PURPOSE OF CONFLICTS
- Seizing the growth opportunities
- The resolution work
- The rewards of resolving
- The consequences of avoiding
- Applying it to real life cases
* PHASES IN A CONFLICT
- An Overview
- Identifying phases in real life cases
* SKILLS FOR THE BUILD-UP PHASE
- Identifying early signs of dissatisfaction
- Facilitating the release of pent-up emotions
- Changing the relationship
- Real life case discussion
* SKILLS FOR THE EXPLOSION PHASE
- Feeling prepared for conflicts
- Techniques for staying calm
- Techniques for taking control
- Techniques for defusing the tension
- Real life case discussion
* ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY PHASE
- Facing the conflicted relationship
- Seeing the growth opportunities
- Understanding the work to be done
- Committing to a plan of action
- Beginning positive change
- Real life case discussion
* SKILLS FOR THE PROGRESS &
- Guiding the positive change
- Practicing new relationship skills
- Coping with setbacks
- Monitoring progress
- Real life case discussion
* SKILLS FOR THE GROWTH &
- Testing the strength of the new relationship
- Reinforcing the new relationship
- Celebrating success
- Real life case discussion
* COMMON TYPES OF CONFLICT
- Discussion of specific conflict types based on class interest
- Common forms of relationship conflict and strategies for
- Discussion of real life cases
- Final comments and participant feedback
from many sources to teach conflict resolution topics. These
include his many experiences observing and resolving group
conflicts as facilitator, his work as a psychotherapist where
he treated various forms of family conflict, his responsibilities
as a social worker where he helped resolve difficult child
custody disputes, and his other life experiences where he
has observed marital, cultural, and organizational conflicts.
states that conflicts of one type or another are inevitable
facts of life. Conflicts between two people are tests of the
strength of their relationship. They are tests that all relationships
must pass so that they can survive and grow to have more value
for both parties.
The full cost of training/access is only $79 for MFJ readers
($89 for the general public). Everything you read about above
is included. And, we offer a 100%-satisfaction-guaranteed
August 23-27, 2004, 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time), 60 minutes each
upon completion of your registration, you will receive an
email with instructions to access the course. This course
is limited to 20 individuals, first come, first served.
here to Register
Kaveh at firstname.lastname@example.org
or at (858) 459-8695
About the satisfaction guarantee
If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with this package,
simply email us with a request to refund/credit your credit
card in the full amount and we will do so immediately. It's
our policy to do this and we honor this in every single case.
(Why? Because we are sensitive to the fact that you are buying
an e-course/product from us and we feel that if this package
isn't EXACTLY what you expected or wanted, that you should
be able to get 100% of your money back. This policy completely
removes the buying risk for you and keeps our customer-satisfaction
rates extremely high.)