Master Facilitator Journal | Issue #0161| July 13, 2004 | 8,000 Subscribers...

Dear friends,

A couple of weeks ago, I saw the new independent film, "What the #*%$ Do We Know." It's truly a unique cinematic creation - really three films in one. It’s a documentary. It’s a story. It's an animation with mind-blowing special effects. These three elements combine to bring about a film experience that will rock your mind and lift your soul! It explains, in simple terms, the implications of our latest findings in quantum physics, neurology and molecular biology--truly that we do in fact create our own reality to a much larger degree than we typically might think.

I've had several people suggest I do an article reflecting on this movie and it's implications to facilitators. So this week, I did just that. If you'd like to find out more about the movie, I've included the website and a short review in our resources section. I really do encourage you to view the movie and to write and let me know how it affected you and any implications you see for facilitators, trainers, and group workers.

Also, Layne and Paul will cohost our next Micro-Skills Tele-Seminar tomorrow, Wednesday, July 14th
at 1:00 PM EDT. In this one hour teleclass, Paul and Layne will discuss with us "Why You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think. They'll talk about their unique conflict resolution model they call the "CURE" that we can use as facilitators when we encounter conflicts in our groups.

In this Issue:

Feature Article: What the Bleep Do We Know?

Why You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think: Our next one-hour tele-seminar with Layne and Paul Cutright happens Wednesday, July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT.

Resource: What the #*%$ Do We Know. Movie site.

New 5-Day Teleclass: Growing Through Conflict.

If any of you have any interesting stories or experiences about facilitation, group process, work groups, team building, training, etc. that might interest our readers, please send them to us.

Have a great week!

Steve Davis

Self-Mastery Skill
What the Bleep Do We Know?
Tapping in to the Reality Files.
The Point

Facilitators are change agents called into groups to help them move through barriers, find better solutions to their problems, conflicts, and dilemmas. They look to us to help them do what they couldn't do by themselves. They help us clarify and define our own identities while we help them clarify theirs.

The vast majority of the time, we view ourselves as separate and distinct from the problems or challenges we face. In the material world, this seems to be an obvious and established condition that is beyond question. Yet these seemingly separate particles and conditions arise from a single source. Understanding the nature of this source and how it gives rise to our experience can be liberating.

The recent independent film, "What the #*%$ Do We Know," offers some fascinating insights about the nature of reality along these lines that might be useful to review from the aspect of facilitation. So this article includes some reflections on this movie and how it might relate to us as group workers.


What Reality do You Intend? Reality conforms to intention. Even if we or our groups don't believe this, challenge them, or yourself, to conduct an experiment. Suggest that your group agree on a clear intention for their work together. Have them clarify a vision of what they'd like to come about as a result of their work. Ask them to hold this intention. Each time that they notice a thought showing up at odds with their intention, use it as a reminder to replace it with their new thought. Notice what happens and what kind of results show up.

As a variation on the above, prior to entering your sessions, imagine how you'd like the group to go, what results you'd love them to be able to achieve, how you'd like to feel when it's over. Imagine your greatest positive fantasy and "feel into it" as if it were already a reality. In the field of unlimited possibilities, this action is like a magnet, attracting your preferred version from the "reality" files.

Explore Your Thought Addictions. We are addicted to thought forms. According to the premise of this movie, our lives tend to happen "to" us to the degree we are controlled by our thoughts and feelings. Thought patterns are a learned response. One could even say learning is an addiction in a sense. By that I mean that once we learn something we wish to repeat, we are compelled to repeat our "learned response" each time the situation calls for it. Consciously applied, learning is a wonderful and useful mechanism.

But we get into trouble when our reactions to certain situations are repeated out of habit, even if ineffective. We can get addicted to these patterns that don't work for us. No wonder it's so hard to change our minds when what shows up as a result of our interpretation of reality actually reinforces our interpretation. The secret here is that our interpretation is a major collaborator in reality creation. Change that and you change reality, at least your experience of it.

For example, imagine a fairly mediocre span of your life is interrupted with a string of simply great occurrences and a series of days when you're just as happy as can be. Have you had this happen then found yourself thinking, "Well things are going great but this can't last for long." Or even a compulsion for your mind to dwell on what's missing instead of what isn't?

When you notice discomfort in your group, probe for old associations. For example, Jill just suggested a retreat to develop this issue and I felt the group react to that. Have you had retreats in the past? What do you associate with that suggestion? What if we erase our old tapes and make a new decision about retreats today?

Notice your addictions to thought patterns. These patterns again contribute to creating our reality. It takes courage to own our power and change our thoughts about what we're sure is "real." But know that what is "real" is really malleable and responds to our beliefs and intentions.

How Are You Responsible for Your Reality?
There is no reality, only perception. This movie clearly claims that what we see as "reality" is simply a mirror into ourselves. A more powerful question than "What is reality?" is the question, "Who are you such that your particular flavor of reality is showing up?" If your groups are concerned with what's showing up for them in their world, as an exercise, have them explore the question, "If reality is a mirror, what is it telling you about your thoughts, feelings, and actions?" Or asked in another way, "If you were to imagine that you have entirely created the reality in front of you, what action would you take next?"


What is reality reflecting for you? Answer this question around any particular situation or event that's important to you and see what you discover. Please
send us your questions and comments.

Facilitation Expert Series

Facilitation Micro-Skills Tele-Seminar: "Why You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think, and What It's Costing You to Not Know the Real Cause. Featuring Layne and Paul Cutright, Authors, Trainer and Founders of The Center for Enlightened Partnership. Attend this one-hour tele-seminar on Wednesday, July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time).

"Just in Time" Learning

What do we mean by "upset"? An upset is any feeling that disturbs your peace of mind, throws you off center, causes you to feel ill at ease, uncomfortable or troubled, makes you feel out of control, frustrated, fearful, anxious, sad, hurt, helpless, angry, disappointed and so on.

Perhaps you can recall a time when you felt a:

  • Gnawing insecurity about your future, perhaps when you thought you might lose your job - or actually did lose it.
  • Stab of pain when someone you admire criticized you.
  • Sting of embarrassment when you made a mistake in front of others.
  • Heavy weight of despair in your chest as you tried to recover from a loss or rejection.
  • Sinking disappointment when someone you love let you down.
  • Numbing silence at some unexpected bad news.

Are any of these experiences familiar to you? Do you remember feeling a loss of power or peace in those situations?

Join Paul and Layne Cutright
on Wednesday, July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time) for a one-hour interview where we'll explore the possibilities of a refreshingly different and highly effective approach to permanently triumph over any upset, challenge or breakdown. They have taught this enlightened approach to conflict resolution to thousands of people and were recently invited to present their conflict resolution model at the International Conference on Conflict Resolution in St. Petersburg, Russia. Over 500 attendees represented twenty different countries. In this class, Paul and Layne will share how their tool, the Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE) resolves the root cause of any upset. Some specific points we'll discuss are...

What does the title "You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think" mean, exactly?
You talk about "radical personal responsibility" in your book, what do you mean by this?
Your book teaches the Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE) what is that?
How is the CURE different from other systems of conflict resolution?
Tell us about the two steps in the CURE and why they're important.
You talk about using conflict as a reminder that we have an opportunity to learn something. How does that work?
How can we use the CURE to resolve non-relationship conflicts or upsets.
What new possibilities open up for our relationships, our communities and our society when we are able to resolve our conflicts with the CURE?
And, answers to any questions you bring to the teleclass.

Three Free Bonuses!

1. How to Create Powerful Partnerships e-Course $24.95 Value! Learn the five essential keys you need to unlock the hidden potential in any relationship! Successful, lasting relationships don't just happen by luck or accident - they are created.This five lesson e-course will teach you specific skills and distinctions to help you create extraordinarily successful relationships!

2. Evolutionary Relationships Audio.
20-minutes audio discussing the aspects of enlightened partnerships.

3. Five Stages of Partnership - Self Assessment.
All relationships encounter these five predictable stages. Taking this self assessment will allow you to see where you are strong and where you can use support. This assessment will help you to determine your own personalized curriculum for mastering relationships

About Layne and Paul.
Layne and Paul have created a powerful, creative partnership as both marriage and business partners. They have taught all over the world in conference rooms, boardrooms and living rooms. They have created, produced and led evolutionary and transformational programs for people who want to have lasting, successful relationships.They have an Internet learning and resource center called The Center for Enlightened Partnership where they offer programs online and by telephone worldwide. Paul and Layne are authors of Straight From the Heart, a popular book about “high performance communication”, as well as their latest book about enlightened conflict resolution entitled, You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think. They have a private coaching practice in which they work with individuals, romantic couples, business partners and creative teams.

Click here for details about this interview, the bonuses, and registration.


What the #*%$ Do We Know
What the Bleep" has won five times at Film Festivals throughout the United States. Most recently, at the Maui Film Festival, the film received the Audience Award for Best Hybrid Documentary.

What the #$BLEEP*! Do We Know!?” is a wake-up call to the hundreds of thousands of people who are searching for a voice somewhere in this fragmented culture who have been awaiting a catalyst.
This bold, funny, unique work goes to the heart of the human dilemma. It challenges and lays waste the old Paradigms of thought and places responsibility squarely where it belongs – on individual human consciousness.
In the Spotlight

Growing Through Conflict

A 5-Day Teleclass Teaching You Innovative Skills to Save and Enhance Conflicted Relationships

Led by Kaveh Nayeri, MS, an innovative business and personal coach, author, and mental health professional.

Growing Through Conflict 5-Day Teleclass

Conflicts are inevitable facts of life. They happen regularly in personal and business relationships. Unresolved conflicts can threaten and break our valuable relationships. This is often a major loss for both parties. But knowing how to conceptualize and resolve conflicts can save, heal, and strengthen our key relationships.

In this class Facilitators will learn effective conflict resolution skills that will help them feel prepared, confident, comfortable, and in control when called upon to help resolve conflicts. The class will include many discussions of real life conflicts and ways to effectively resolve them.

Benefits to you of participating from the 5-Day Training...
1. Get a great introduction to the concept and practice of conflict resolution skills.
2. Learn the hidden purpose behind a conflict and how to realize it.

3. Learn an innovative approach and key skills to help resolve conflicts.
4. Learn how to defuse conflict situations before they start.
5. Learn the five stages of conflicts and resolution techniques for each phase.

5-Day Growing Through Conflict Training Agenda...
Here's what you'll be learning and doing during the 5-Day course...


- Introduction
- Discuss participant learning objectives
- Discuss real life examples of conflict situations


- Seizing the growth opportunities
- The resolution work
- The rewards of resolving
- The consequences of avoiding
- Applying it to real life cases


- An Overview
- Identifying phases in real life cases


- Identifying early signs of dissatisfaction
- Facilitating the release of pent-up emotions
- Changing the relationship
- Real life case discussion


- Feeling prepared for conflicts
- Techniques for staying calm
- Techniques for taking control
- Techniques for defusing the tension
- Real life case discussion


- Facing the conflicted relationship
- Seeing the growth opportunities
- Understanding the work to be done
- Committing to a plan of action
- Beginning positive change
- Real life case discussion


- Guiding the positive change
- Practicing new relationship skills
- Coping with setbacks
- Monitoring progress
- Real life case discussion


- Testing the strength of the new relationship
- Reinforcing the new relationship
- Celebrating success
- Real life case discussion


- Discussion of specific conflict types based on class interest
- Common forms of relationship conflict and strategies for resolving them
- Discussion of real life cases
- Final comments and participant feedback

About Kaveh
Kaveh draws from many sources to teach conflict resolution topics. These include his many experiences observing and resolving group conflicts as facilitator, his work as a psychotherapist where he treated various forms of family conflict, his responsibilities as a social worker where he helped resolve difficult child custody disputes, and his other life experiences where he has observed marital, cultural, and organizational conflicts.

Kaveh states that conflicts of one type or another are inevitable facts of life. Conflicts between two people are tests of the strength of their relationship. They are tests that all relationships must pass so that they can survive and grow to have more value for both parties.

The full cost of training/access is only $79 for MFJ readers ($89 for the general public). Everything you read about above is included. And, we offer a 100%-satisfaction-guaranteed guarantee.

August 23-27, 2004, 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time), 60 minutes each day.


Immediately upon completion of your registration, you will receive an email with instructions to access the course. This course is limited to 20 individuals, first come, first served.

Click here to Register


Contact Kaveh at or at (858) 459-8695

About the satisfaction guarantee

If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with this package, simply email us with a request to refund/credit your credit card in the full amount and we will do so immediately. It's our policy to do this and we honor this in every single case. (Why? Because we are sensitive to the fact that you are buying an e-course/product from us and we feel that if this package isn't EXACTLY what you expected or wanted, that you should be able to get 100% of your money back. This policy completely removes the buying risk for you and keeps our customer-satisfaction rates extremely high.)

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