Master Facilitator Journal | Issue #0160| July 6, 2004 | 8,000 Subscribers...

Dear friends,

This week's article, "
Are Your Partnerships Shipshape?" was contributed by my friends Layne and Paul Cutright. It explores the fact that all good partnerships take ongoing maintenance, and they include a list of ten things you can do to maintain "enlightened" partnerships. These principles can apply to any form of partnership, whether we're speaking of business partners, intimate partners, or even the members of the next group you're facilitating who must engage in effective partnerships to work well as a team.

Layne and Paul will cohost our next Micro-Skills Tele-Seminar on Wednesday, July 14th
at 1:00 PM EDT. In this one hour teleclass, Paul and Layne will discuss with us "Why You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think, and What It's Costing You to Not Know the Real Cause." They'll talk about their unique conflict resolution model they call the "CURE" and

In this Issue:

Feature Article: Are Your Partnerships Shipshape?

Why You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think: Our next one-hour tele-seminar with Layne and Paul Cutright happens Wednesday, July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT.

Resource: You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think - The Cure for the Common Upset, by Layne and Paul Cutright.

If any of you have any interesting stories or experiences about facilitation, group process, work groups, team building, training, etc. that might interest our readers, please email them to us.

Have a great week!

Steve Davis

Relating Process Skill
Are Your Partnerships Shipshape?
Effective partnerships need ongoing maintenance.
The Point

Partnerships are in many ways like real, seagoing ships. Just like a sailing vessel needs regular, constant care and upkeep, your partnerships need regular care and upkeep. The crew of a sailing ship is knowledgeable in the standard practices of seamanship, which is absolutely required to maintain a ship's seaworthiness. Unfortunately, most people are not knowledgeable in the standard practices of maintaining their partner-ships.

Yet, most people in partnerships of any kind are usually focused on the goals of the partnership, whether building a life or a business or a community center. There is very little attention paid to the partner-ship itself. And often, somewhere along the voyage of life, the partner-ship is unable to withstand the inevitable and predictable storms of life that can damage both the partners and the partner-ship. Maintaining a strong, stable, satisfying partner-ship requires knowledge and skill - neither of which is commonly taught in our culture.

Enlightened partnerships are distinguished both by the shared vision that guides the partnership as well as the standard practices of its partners. Enlightened partnerships are created and maintained through specific standard practices. Unfortunately, these practices are uncommon in a popular culture gripped by fear and ignorance. But, through the commitment to learn and use these practices, the partners and the partnership are elevated to new heights that uplift and evolve the soul.


The Top Ten Practices of Enlightened Partners

The following Top Ten Practices of Enlightened Partners will help you in building and maintaining strong, durable and enlightened partnerships.

1. Write down the purpose and desired results for your partnership. A partnership without a stated purpose and intended results is like a ship setting sail without a chart or plotted course. The purpose should be stated in a way that lifts the spirit of all partners.

2. Make choices grounded in love rather than fear. Become aware of your automatic reactions that are based in fear and look for the love choice instead. Ask yourself, what would love do or say in this situation?

3. Mutually agree upon strategies for dealing with predictable breakdowns, i.e., miscommunications, upsets or disagreements and use them when needed. It is important to have these strategies in place before the breakdowns occur. It is difficult, if not impossible, to create and implement them in the middle of a breakdown.

4. Commit to win/win outcomes; don't settle for anyone being the loser. For the partnership to win, all partners need to win. If anyone in the partnership loses, the entire partnership loses. Keep asking questions that lead you to the win/win outcome.

5. Communicate honestly from the heart and practice high performance listening. People respond positively to the expression of heart-felt truth because it builds trust, even if they don't agree with it. High performance listening is listening without judgment for the concerns of the other person that may be hidden behind their words.

6. Assume personal responsibility for your emotional reality and refrain from blame. Blame and projection will pollute the emotional climate of a partnership faster than anything.

7. Take the initiative for the satisfaction of your own needs and wants and make clear requests of others that inspire their cooperation. Don't wait for people to guess what will make you happy. Nobody likes to endure demands or covert manipulation.

8. Share power rather than struggle for it. Let go of the need to be right all the time. Value others ideas and perceptions as being as valid as your own. Heal your unresolved power/authority issues from the past.

9. See problems as opportunities. Every problem contains the gift of spiritual development within it. Learn to unwrap the package.

10. Nurture a conscious relationship with your Soul. The more spiritually attuned you are, the more enlightened you and your partnerships will be.

©2004 Paul and Layne Cutright – Permission is granted to publish this article as long as it is published in its entirety and includes attribution and the paragraph below.

About the Authors.Paul and Layne Cutright are marriage and business partners who have been teaching principles and practices for successful relationships since 1976. They are the founders of The Center for Enlightened Partnership, an online learning and resource center providing e-learning products and teleclasses. They are authors of You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think and they publish a free monthly e-zine filled with inspiration and practical tools for your relationships.


Which step in the top ten list below will you apply to your partnership this week? Please
email us your questions and comments.

Facilitation Expert Series

Facilitation Micro-Skills Tele-Seminar: "Why You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think, and What It's Costing You to Not Know the Real Cause. Featuring Layne and Paul Cutright, Authors, Trainer and Founders of The Center for Enlightened Partnership. Attend this one-hour tele-seminar on Wednesday, July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time).

"Just in Time" Learning

What do we mean by "upset"? An upset is any feeling that disturbs your peace of mind, throws you off center, causes you to feel ill at ease, uncomfortable or troubled, makes you feel out of control, frustrated, fearful, anxious, sad, hurt, helpless, angry, disappointed and so on.

Perhaps you can recall a time when you felt a:

  • Gnawing insecurity about your future, perhaps when you thought you might lose your job - or actually did lose it.
  • Stab of pain when someone you admire criticized you.
  • Sting of embarrassment when you made a mistake in front of others.
  • Heavy weight of despair in your chest as you tried to recover from a loss or rejection.
  • Sinking disappointment when someone you love let you down.
  • Numbing silence at some unexpected bad news.

Are any of these experiences familiar to you? Do you remember feeling a loss of power or peace in those situations?

Join Paul and Layne Cutright
on Wednesday, July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time) for a one-hour interview where we'll explore the possibilities of a refreshingly different and highly effective approach to permanently triumph over any upset, challenge or breakdown. They have taught this enlightened approach to conflict resolution to thousands of people and were recently invited to present their conflict resolution model at the International Conference on Conflict Resolution in St. Petersburg, Russia. Over 500 attendees represented twenty different countries. In this class, Paul and Layne will share how their tool, the Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE) resolves the root cause of any upset. Some specific points we'll discuss are...

What does the title "You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think" mean, exactly?
You talk about "radical personal responsibility" in your book, what do you mean by this?
Your book teaches the Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE) what is that?
How is the CURE different from other systems of conflict resolution?
Tell us about the two steps in the CURE and why they're important.
You talk about using conflict as a reminder that we have an opportunity to learn something. How does that work?
How can we use the CURE to resolve non-relationship conflicts or upsets.
What new possibilities open up for our relationships, our communities and our society when we are able to resolve our conflicts with the CURE?
And, answers to any questions you bring to the teleclass.

Three Free Bonuses!

1. How to Create Powerful Partnership e-Course $24.95 Value! Learn the five essential keys you need to unlock the hidden potential in any relationship! Successful, lasting relationships don't just happen by luck or accident - they are created.This five lesson e-course will teach you specific skills and distinctions to help you create extraordinarily successful relationships!

2. Evolutionary Relationships Audio.
20-minutes audio discussing the aspects of enlightened partnerships.

3. Five Stages of Partnership - Self Assessment.
All relationships encounter these five predictable stages. Taking this self assessment will allow you to see where you are strong and where you can use support. This assessment will help you to determine your own personalized curriculum for mastering relationships

About Layne and Paul.
Layne and Paul have created a powerful, creative partnership as both marriage and business partners. They have taught all over the world in conference rooms, boardrooms and living rooms. They have created, produced and led evolutionary and transformational programs for people who want to have lasting, successful relationships.They have an Internet learning and resource center called The Center for Enlightened Partnership where they offer programs online and by telephone worldwide. Paul and Layne are authors of Straight From the Heart, a popular book about “high performance communication”, as well as their latest book about enlightened conflict resolution entitled, You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think. They have a private coaching practice in which they work with individuals, romantic couples, business partners and creative teams.

Click here for details about this interview, the bonuses, and registration.


You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think - The Cure for the Common Upset, by Layne and Paul Cutright

If you are truly ready to enjoy relationships as "upset free zones" in which you experience deeper and more satisfying levels of love, connection, cooperation, creativity, synergy and more . . . then you will want to learn the secret revealed in You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think - The CURE for the Common Upset.

This book will show you exactly how you can uncover the real cause of any problem or upset, stop the pain and halt the slide toward more upset and disappointment, every single time. It will reveal to you the newest and most powerful conflict resolution tool ever created - and the last you will ever need, called the Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE). The CURE is our simple, easy to learn, step-by-step proprietary method to neutralize, clarify, and resolve any upset you may encounter . . . with lovers, business partners, co-workers, family members, children and any other relationship that is important to you . . . even with unsettling news you see on the television or experiences you have in life . . . absolutely anything at all that upsets you in any way.

In the Spotlight

Random Acts of Facilitation Teleclass

5-day Teleclass for
facilitators and change agents.
Discrete skills and attitudes for the new and experienced facilitator who wants to get their group into serious motion.

Random Acts of Facilitation, 5-Day Teleclass

This self-guided pre-recorded teleclass cover 25+ discrete facilitative actions you can take to empower and move groups forward. This course is for facilitators at any level or group members that simply want to know more about facilitation so that they can make the groups they are a part of more effective. Being discrete acts of facilitation, they also lend themselves to being taught to your group members who desire to become more self-facilitative.

5-Day Random Acts of Facilitation Training Agenda...
Here's what you'll be learning and doing during the 5-Day course...

Introduction to the Facilitation and Self Facilitation Skills.

1. Set the Stage.
2. Share the Dream.
3. Get Facilitation
4. Juggling.
5. Me First.

Relating with compassion and understanding.

6. Be Ignorant.
7. Make Smiles Happen.
8. Hold 'em High.
9. Acknowledge the Elephant.
10. Turn on Your Crap-Detector.

Group Dynamics and Facilitation

11. Build the Container.
12. Build trust.
13. Mine the Unexpected.
14. Evolve Your Team.
15. Honor the Process.
16. Facilitate Full Participation

Organizing and Presenting yourself confidently, professionally, and authentically. 

17. Prepare for Success.
18. Get Real.
19. Make Experiences, Not Speeches
20. Watch the Body Talk.
21. Be your message

Intervening to shift group energy

22. Tame the Tormentors.
23. CareFront.
24. Use the Struggle.
25. Break through barriers.
26. Facilitate from Within.
27. Embrace Facilitation as a Master's Path

Benefits to you of participating from the 5-Day Random Acts of Facilitation Training...
1. Get a great introduction to the concept and practice of facilitation skills if you are contemplating becoming a facilitator, team leader, board member, manager, mediator, etc.
2. Learn some "easy to remember," discrete tools you can use to empower any group.
3. Learn how to challenge and empower every group you come in contact with.
4. Learn to appreciate and use surprises by getting comfortable dealing with the "unexpected" in your groups.
5. Gain reinforcement for the facilitative work you're already doing and learn some language and theory to back it up.

Also included with your training...

Free copy of the Portable Article Bank ($29 value).

Self-Guided 5-Day Real Audio Version
You'll be provided with access to three separate recorded offerings of the five-hour teleclass (15 hours total) that you can listen to online and follow along in the learning guide is used in the live class. Click here to purchase for $69. We will also include a free copy of the Portable Article Bank ($29 value) with your purchase. We offer a 100%-satisfaction-guaranteed guarantee.


Please click here to purchase.

Self-Guided 5-Day CD Version
The Compact Disk (CD) version comes with all of the self-guided features listed above, together with 5 CD's you'll receive by mail that you can listen to anywhere you have access to a CD player.


Click here to purchase the CD Version for $79
plus $4 Shipping and Handling

One-Day Live Version

Interested in a one-day "live" version of this class offered to your group? Email us at to discuss options.

About the satisfaction guarantee
If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with this package, simply email us with a request to refund/credit your credit card in the full amount and we will do so immediately. It's our policy to do this and we honor this in every single case. (Why? Because we are sensitive to the fact that you are buying an e-course/product from us and we feel that if this package isn't EXACTLY what you expected or wanted, that you should be able to get 100% of your money back. This policy completely removes the buying risk for you and keeps our customer-satisfaction rates extremely high.)

Real Audio Testimonials
Click here for a one-minute audio testimonial from several participants on the final day of the teleclass.

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