Facilitator Journal | Issue #0160| July 6, 2004 | 8,000 Subscribers...
This week's article, "Are
Your Partnerships Shipshape?"
was contributed by my friends Layne and Paul Cutright. It explores
the fact that all good partnerships take ongoing maintenance, and
they include a list of ten things you can do to maintain "enlightened"
partnerships. These principles can apply to any form of partnership,
whether we're speaking of business partners, intimate partners, or
even the members of the next group you're facilitating who must engage
in effective partnerships to work well as a team.
Layne and Paul will cohost our next Micro-Skills Tele-Seminar on
Wednesday, July 14th
at 1:00 PM EDT. In this one hour teleclass, Paul and Layne
with us "Why You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think,
and What It's Costing You to Not Know the Real Cause." They'll
talk about their unique conflict resolution model they call the "CURE"
any of you have any interesting stories or experiences about facilitation,
group process, work groups, team building, training, etc. that might interest
our readers, please email
them to us.
Your Partnerships Shipshape?
need ongoing maintenance.
Partnerships are in many ways like real, seagoing ships. Just like a sailing
vessel needs regular, constant care and upkeep, your partnerships need
regular care and upkeep. The crew of a sailing ship is knowledgeable in
the standard practices of seamanship, which is absolutely required to
maintain a ship's seaworthiness. Unfortunately, most people are not knowledgeable
in the standard practices of maintaining their partner-ships.
Yet, most people in partnerships of any kind are usually focused on the
goals of the partnership, whether building a life or a business or a community
center. There is very little attention paid to the partner-ship itself.
And often, somewhere along the voyage of life, the partner-ship is unable
to withstand the inevitable and predictable storms of life that can damage
both the partners and the partner-ship. Maintaining a strong, stable,
satisfying partner-ship requires knowledge and skill - neither of which
is commonly taught in our culture.
Enlightened partnerships are distinguished both by the shared vision that
guides the partnership as well as the standard practices of its partners.
Enlightened partnerships are created and maintained through specific standard
practices. Unfortunately, these practices are uncommon in a popular culture
gripped by fear and ignorance. But, through the commitment to learn and
use these practices, the partners and the partnership are elevated to
new heights that uplift and evolve the soul.
The Top Ten Practices of Enlightened Partners
The following Top Ten Practices of Enlightened Partners will help you
in building and maintaining strong, durable and enlightened partnerships.
1. Write down the purpose and desired results for your partnership.
A partnership without a stated purpose and intended results is like a
ship setting sail without a chart or plotted course. The purpose should
be stated in a way that lifts the spirit of all partners.
2. Make choices
grounded in love rather than fear. Become aware of your automatic
reactions that are based in fear and look for the love choice instead.
Ask yourself, what would love do or say in this situation?
agree upon strategies for dealing with predictable breakdowns,
i.e., miscommunications, upsets or disagreements and use them when needed.
It is important to have these strategies in place before the breakdowns
occur. It is difficult, if not impossible, to create and implement them
in the middle of a breakdown.
to win/win outcomes; don't settle for anyone being the loser.
For the partnership to win, all partners need to win. If anyone in the
partnership loses, the entire partnership loses. Keep asking questions
that lead you to the win/win outcome.
honestly from the heart and practice high performance listening.
People respond positively to the expression of heart-felt truth because
it builds trust, even if they don't agree with it. High performance listening
is listening without judgment for the concerns of the other person that
may be hidden behind their words.
personal responsibility for your emotional reality and refrain from blame.
Blame and projection will pollute the emotional climate of a partnership
faster than anything.
7. Take the
initiative for the satisfaction of your own needs and wants and make clear
requests of others that inspire their cooperation. Don't wait
for people to guess what will make you happy. Nobody likes to endure demands
or covert manipulation.
8. Share power
rather than struggle for it. Let go of the need to be right all
the time. Value others ideas and perceptions as being as valid as your
own. Heal your unresolved power/authority issues from the past.
9. See problems
as opportunities. Every problem contains the gift of spiritual
development within it. Learn to unwrap the package.
a conscious relationship with your Soul. The more spiritually
attuned you are, the more enlightened you and your partnerships will be.
©2004 Paul and Layne Cutright – Permission is granted to publish
this article as long as it is published in its entirety and includes attribution
and the paragraph below.
About the Authors.Paul and Layne Cutright are marriage
and business partners who have been teaching principles and practices
for successful relationships since 1976. They are the founders of The
Center for Enlightened Partnership, an online learning and resource
center providing e-learning products and teleclasses. They are authors
of You're Never Upset for the
Reason You Think and they publish a free
monthly e-zine filled with inspiration and practical tools for your
Which step in the top ten list below will you apply to your partnership
this week? Please email
us your questions and comments.
Facilitation Expert Series
You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think, and What It's Costing You
to Not Know the Real Cause.
Featuring Layne and Paul Cutright,
Authors, Trainer and Founders of The Center for Enlightened Partnership.
Attend this one-hour tele-seminar on
Wednesday, July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time).
"Just in Time" Learning
What do we mean by
"upset"? An upset is any feeling that disturbs your peace of
mind, throws you off center, causes you to feel ill at ease, uncomfortable
or troubled, makes you feel out of control, frustrated, fearful, anxious,
sad, hurt, helpless, angry, disappointed and so on.
Perhaps you can recall
a time when you felt a:
- Gnawing insecurity
about your future, perhaps when you thought you might lose your job
- or actually did lose it.
- Stab of pain when
someone you admire criticized you.
- Sting of embarrassment
when you made a mistake in front of others.
- Heavy weight of
despair in your chest as you tried to recover from a loss or rejection.
- Sinking disappointment
when someone you love let you down.
- Numbing silence
at some unexpected bad news.
Are any of these
experiences familiar to you? Do you remember feeling a loss of power or
peace in those situations?
Join Paul and Layne Cutright
July 14th at 1:00 PM EDT (NY Time) for a one-hour interview where
the possibilities of a refreshingly different and highly effective approach
to permanently triumph over any upset, challenge or breakdown. They have
taught this enlightened approach to conflict resolution to thousands of
people and were recently invited
to present their conflict resolution model at the International Conference
on Conflict Resolution in St. Petersburg, Russia. Over 500 attendees represented
twenty different countries. In
this class, Paul and Layne will share how their tool, the Conscious Upset
Resolution Exercise (CURE) resolves the root cause of any upset.
Some specific points we'll discuss are...
What does the title
"You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think" mean, exactly?
You talk about "radical
personal responsibility" in your book, what do you mean by this?
Your book teaches the
Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE) what is that?
How is the CURE different
from other systems of conflict resolution?
Tell us about the two
steps in the CURE and why they're important.
You talk about using
conflict as a reminder that we have an opportunity to learn something.
How does that work?
How can we use the
CURE to resolve non-relationship conflicts or upsets.
What new possibilities
open up for our relationships, our communities and our society when we
are able to resolve our conflicts with the CURE?
And, answers to any questions you bring to the teleclass.
How to Create Powerful Partnership e-Course $24.95 Value! Learn
the five essential keys you need to unlock the hidden potential in any
lasting relationships don't just happen by luck or accident - they are
created.This five lesson e-course will teach you specific skills and distinctions
to help you create extraordinarily successful relationships!
2. Evolutionary Relationships Audio. 20-minutes
audio discussing the aspects of enlightened partnerships.
3. Five Stages of Partnership - Self Assessment. All
relationships encounter these five predictable stages. Taking this self
assessment will allow you to see where you are strong and where you can
use support. This assessment will help you to determine your own personalized
curriculum for mastering relationships
About Layne and Paul. Layne
and Paul have created a powerful, creative partnership as both marriage
and business partners. They have taught all over the world in conference
rooms, boardrooms and living rooms. They have created, produced and led
evolutionary and transformational programs for people who want to have
lasting, successful relationships.They have an Internet learning and resource
center called The Center
for Enlightened Partnership where they offer programs online and by
telephone worldwide. Paul and Layne are authors of Straight From the Heart,
a popular book about “high performance communication”, as well as their
latest book about enlightened conflict resolution entitled, You're
Never Upset for the Reason You Think. They have a private coaching
practice in which they work with individuals, romantic couples, business
partners and creative teams.
for details about this interview, the bonuses, and registration.
Never Upset for the Reason You Think - The Cure for the Common Upset,
by Layne and Paul Cutright
If you are truly ready to enjoy relationships as "upset free zones"
in which you experience deeper and more satisfying levels of love, connection,
cooperation, creativity, synergy and more . . . then you will want to learn
the secret revealed in You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think - The
CURE for the Common Upset.
This book will show you exactly how you can uncover the real cause of any
problem or upset, stop the pain and halt the slide toward more upset and
disappointment, every single time. It will reveal to you the newest and
most powerful conflict resolution tool ever created - and the last you will
ever need, called the Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE). The CURE
is our simple, easy to learn, step-by-step proprietary method to neutralize,
clarify, and resolve any upset you may encounter . . . with lovers, business
partners, co-workers, family members, children and any other relationship
that is important to you . . . even with unsettling news you see on the
television or experiences you have in life . . . absolutely anything at
all that upsets you in any way.
Random Acts of Facilitation Teleclass
5-day Teleclass for
facilitators and change agents.
skills and attitudes for the new and experienced facilitator
who wants to get their group into serious motion.
Random Acts of Facilitation, 5-Day Teleclass
This self-guided pre-recorded teleclass cover 25+ discrete
facilitative actions you can take to empower and move groups
forward. This course is for facilitators at any level or group
members that simply want to know more about facilitation so
that they can make the groups they are a part of more effective.
Being discrete acts of facilitation, they also lend themselves
to being taught to your group members who desire to become
Random Acts of Facilitation Training Agenda...
Here's what you'll be learning and doing during the 5-Day
Introduction to the Facilitation
and Self Facilitation Skills.
1. Set the Stage.
2. Share the Dream.
3. Get Facilitation
5. Me First.
Relating with compassion and understanding.
6. Be Ignorant.
7. Make Smiles Happen.
8. Hold 'em High.
9. Acknowledge the Elephant.
10. Turn on Your Crap-Detector.
Dynamics and Facilitation
11. Build the Container.
12. Build trust.
13. Mine the Unexpected.
14. Evolve Your Team.
15. Honor the Process.
16. Facilitate Full Participation
and Presenting yourself confidently, professionally, and authentically.
17. Prepare for Success.
18. Get Real.
19. Make Experiences, Not Speeches
20. Watch the Body Talk.
21. Be your message
Intervening to shift group energy
22. Tame the Tormentors.
24. Use the Struggle.
25. Break through barriers.
26. Facilitate from Within.
27. Embrace Facilitation as a Master's Path
to you of participating from the 5-Day Random Acts of Facilitation
1. Get a great introduction to the concept and practice of
facilitation skills if you are contemplating becoming a facilitator,
team leader, board member, manager, mediator, etc.
2. Learn some "easy to remember," discrete tools
you can use to empower any group.
3. Learn how to challenge and empower every group you come
in contact with.
4. Learn to appreciate and use surprises by getting comfortable
dealing with the "unexpected" in your groups.
5. Gain reinforcement for the facilitative work you're already
doing and learn some language and theory to back it up.
Also included with
Free copy of the Portable Article Bank ($29 value).
5-Day Real Audio Version
be provided with access to three separate recorded offerings
of the five-hour teleclass (15 hours total) that you can listen
to online and follow along in the learning guide is used in
the live class. Click
here to purchase for $69. We will also include
a free copy of the Portable
Article Bank ($29 value) with your purchase. We
offer a 100%-satisfaction-guaranteed guarantee.
5-Day CD Version
Compact Disk (CD) version comes with all of the self-guided
features listed above, together with 5 CD's you'll receive
by mail that you can listen to anywhere you have access to
a CD player.
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CD Version for
plus $4 Shipping and Handling
in a one-day "live" version of this class offered
to your group? Email us at steve@FacilitatorU.com
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If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with this package,
simply email us with a request to refund/credit your credit
card in the full amount and we will do so immediately. It's
our policy to do this and we honor this in every single case.
(Why? Because we are sensitive to the fact that you are buying
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here for a one-minute audio testimonial from several
participants on the final day of the teleclass.