of the Week
Journal | Issue #0127 | November 18, 2003 | 9,000 Subscribers
Intro to Appreciative Inquiry.
New self-guided Teleclass. Take at your own pace.
here for details.
Got a burning
questions about facilitation? Click
to learn more
about our new Virtual University for Facilitators.
This week's article, "Getting
to the Core of Conflict,"
a method called "Nonviolent Communication"
developed by Marshal
Rosenberg. This simple method has us help conflicting
parties explore the feelings and needs
they're trying to satisfy to develop more life-affirming
Announcing release of our "Intervene With Confidence"
Facilitator's Guide! This guide fully explores
the concept and practice of group process Intervention.
here for details.
Learning Facilitator Teleclass. We are also
happy to announce the development of our new Learning
Facilitator teleclass. This class will help teachers
and trainers develop and nurture "learning environments"
for their students. Please see full details at the end
of this issue.
Appreciative Inquiry Teleclass--Self-Guided
here for details on this 4-hour recorded
now available as a self-guided version complete with
learning guide, 4 hours of real audio, and other resources.
4. Biz Whiz Ecourse.
My dear friend, Andrea Lee, previous COO of CoachVille.com
has developed this great new ecourse to help you build
and sustain the Internet side of your business. Click
here for full details.
here to view our schedule of teleclasses offered
If you or your colleagues
are interested in submitting an article for consideration,
your ideas. I'd love to hear from you.
Thanks for your support.
to the Core of Conflict
Exploring the method of "Nonviolent Communication"
to resolve conflicts.
theologian named Walter Wink suggests that violence
has been a social norm in the human community for some
eight thousand years. That's when a myth evolved that
the world was created by a heroic, virtuous male god
who defeated an evil female goddess. From this point
on, we've been in this struggle of good and evil, right
and wrong, which has supported the development of a
system of "retributive justice."
In this system, the majority surrender their responsibility
to "authorities" who levy justice by deciding
who "deserves" to be punished and who deserves
to be rewarded. Further, if we can make a case for ourselves
being "right" or "good", that immediately
implies that the other side is "wrong" or
"bad" and we supposedly "win." We've
been so ingrained with this strategy that it really
seems to make sense to most of us. In fact, many may
argue there is no better strategy. But it's really absurd
when you think about it. Isn't it? Wouldn't it be better
to find a strategy that helped everyone win? A strategy
that sought to restore harmony within the larger social
A man named Marshal Rosenberg has developed just such
a strategy that he calls "Nonviolent
Communication" (NVC), which promotes "restorative
justice." This approach, instead of asking the
question, "Who's to blame here?" seeks instead
to answer the question, "How do we restore peace?"
Or put another way, how do we restore a state in which
people care about one another's well-being?
NVC is a four-step strategy:
1. Observe what is happening in a given situation.
Objectively listen to the messages coming from both
sides of the conflict. What might they be feeling? What
might they need or want? Read between the lines if necessary
and prompt them to uncover their feelings and their needs.
2. Identify what each party is feeling. Our bias
toward analysis frequently has us talking "about"
what we think is going on more often than actually expressing
what is going on for us. "Thinking about"
things is an abstraction at least one level removed from
our reality. It also comprises "lifeless" conversation.
Our present moment feelings and senses express what is
"real" and "true" for us now. These
are expressions of our life force in real time.
3. Identify what each party needs. When we clearly
express what we actually need in a given situation, we
show respect for ourselves. And by "owning"
our truth in this way, we show respect for the other party
4. Have each side make requests for desired outcomes.
Once each side understands what the other feels and
needs, we have a chance to use our energies to create
win-win solutions. Energies that otherwise may be wasted
attempting to force a loss on the other side.
This strategy may seem obvious and simplistic, yet most
people, particularly when ensnared in conflict, don't
speak this way to each other. Most of us rebound into
our conditioned approach of defending our positions and
blaming or pointing out the flaws in the other's logic.
With most of us in western culture trained to repress
or discount our needs, we often seek ineffective ways
to assuage the ever present feelings showing up that are
merely symptoms of our unmet and unconscious needs. We
become addicted to consumerism and distraction and when
we have disagreements with others, we try to "win"
at their expense. After all, if the only game I know is
win/lose, then by god I'd better do all I can to win.
As it begins to dawn on us that anytime someone loses
in a closed system, we all ultimately pay a price...if
not today, then tomorrow...then it becomes important to
develop strategies that best meet everyone's needs.
the NVC approach with yourself right now around any
conflict or unrest going on inside of you. Follow the
four steps above to find a peaceful resolution between
the conflicting parts. We'd love to hear how this works
for you. Please email
us your comments.
Center for Nonviolent Communication
Communications (NVC) is a process that strengthens our
ability to inspire compassion from others and respond
compassionately to others and ourselves. NVC guides
us to reframe how we express ourselves and how we hear
others by focusing our consciousness on what we are
observing, feeling, needing, and requesting.
is a language of empathy and honesty, and is sometimes
described as “the language of the heart."
Virtual team building games workshop online. Learn fun
new teamwork activities now and lead them today. You'll
find just what you're looking for with instant and easy
access to our large and diverse selection of team building
exercises. Learn fast in our unique online learning environment
complete with video clips, photos, audio, complete activity
write-ups, teleclasses and free coaching. Free e-book
containing team building games.
Click here to check it out!
Steve Davis helps facilitators, coaches, consultants and leaders
who are struggling to
present themselves confidently, empower their groups, enhance
their facilitation skills,
and build their businesses on and off line. Please email
or call me at 805-489-4130 to schedule a Free exploratory session,
or to share your suggestions and ideas for the journal. If you
find this newsletter helpful, please forward it to your friends.
If you'd like to reprint this article in another publication,
you are free to do so providing you follow the guidelines
here. Thanks for reading!
Learning Facilitator Teleclass
will explore how to make the leap from conventional teaching
to the skills, attitudes, and practices necessary to create
and facilitate a learning environment.
the 4-Day Format/Training works...
dial into your class every day for 4 days (Mon-Thurs) for
a 60-minute focused training segment using a conferencing
2. You work a learning guide during the course (about an hour
a day of study and field work) which you complete by Thursday,
or sooner if you wish.
3. You will have the opportunity to discuss issues on the
subject matter with the instructor and your classmates via
an online listserve during the course.
4. During the week, you may access the instructor via email
for help or situational questions.
what you'll be learning and doing during this course...
the Landscape of Learning
- What is "Learning?" Who Learns? Who teaches?
- Review distinctions between Teaching, Training, Mentoring,
Coaching, and Facilitating
- The Content/Process Paradox
- The medium is the message.
Changing the Paradigm
- Shift from Director to Guide
- "Ability to do" vs. Info delivery
- Students remember their experiences far more than information
- Operating in Full-Duplex: Courting student interest and
- Shifts for students and for teachers
- Relating to shifts in worldviews
- Lessons learned from online communities
- From curriculum development to needs assessment
Becoming a Learning Facilitator
- Core Values
- Inner Shifts Required
- Tools and Tactics
- VAK Attack
- Learning Cycle
- Multiple Intelligences
- Habit Model
- Instruction Events
- The Art of the Question
- Open Space Technology
from participating in the training...
your love of teaching and training
- Learn new ways to get your students excited about learning
- Learn to listen for, encourage, and nurture what's important
- Learn to package your material in a way that better relates
to your students.
- Learn to connect with your students in a way that's rewarding
for you both
- Become a better listener and communicator.
- Release the burden of trying to "make" learning
happen in your classroom.
6. Collaborate and learn from a community of your peers, who
are all passionate about empowering groups.
This is the first run of this class and will be somewhat of
an R&D nature, meaning that we may be experimenting with
new ideas and approaches and will be looking for you to be
involved in its creation. Therefore, the cost of this training
is discounted from our standard fee of $89 to $49.
Everything you read about above is included. And, we offer
a 100% satisfaction guarantee.
This class begins December 8, 2003 from 1:00-2:00PM EST.
It will meet daily for 60 minutes from Monday through
Thursday, the 11th. Because this is an R&D class, it's
possible that we will have an optional meeting on Friday as
well depending on our progress and student interests.
Also included with
In addition to the training described above, you also receive:
- Free access to the participant-only website (lots of resources,
- Free access to the RealAudio version of the training.
to register. Immediately upon completion of your registration,
you will receive an email with instructions to access the
course and free article bank.
This course is limited to 20 individuals, first come, first
If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with this package,
simply email us with a request to refund/credit your credit
card in the full amount and we will do so immediately. It's
our policy to do this and we honor this in every single case.
(Why? Because we are sensitive to the fact that you are buying
an e-course/product from us and we feel that if this package
isn't EXACTLY what you expected or wanted, that you should
be able to get 100% of your money back. This policy completely
removes the buying risk for you and keeps our customer-satisfaction
rates extremely high.)
you for reading this issue of the Master Facilitator Journal. Look
for your next issue on November 25, 2003.
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