Home | About Us | Skill of the Week | Competencies | Archives
| Resources | Life Coaching | Contact Us |

The Master Facilitator Journal | Issue #0001 | May 15, 2001

Self-Mastery Skill

Be Real

If you're not being real then you're not being yourself and you compromise your integrity.

The Point?

You need to "get over yourself" to be an instrument of an effective group process. This doesn't mean that you need to be perfect, having handled all of your issues. But it does mean that you accept yourself "flaws and all" and don't try to cover them up. At the same time, you can continue to seek mastery and be an example to others.

Example

OK. So you're up in front of a group and everything's fine when all of a sudden the worst happens: You completely forget where you were going and haven't a clue what to say next. Now this may go against all of your past reasoning and education, but I urge you to try it nonetheless. Tell the truth! Talk to the audience as if you were talking to a friend, laugh at yourself, tell them what you're thinking, and at some point, you'll find what you wanted to say, or something MUCH more profound will show up in your awareness as you just simply surrender to who you are in the moment. For example, "Well folks, I just know I had some great ideas to share with you, and I was hoping to dazzle you with my brilliance so that you'd be impressed with me. But for some reason, right now I have no clue what I was going to say..."

Action

Practice acceptance about who you are, your values, strengths, and weaknesses, by publicly acknowledging or expressing something you normally wouldn't to at least one other person today. Notice how you feel, then write it down and email it to me or to a trusted friend.

Skill-Related Resource
Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth
by Brad Blanton

Radical Honesty is a revolutionary book that takes a fresh look at how we live, love, and attempt to heal ourselves in modern society.  Radical Honesty is not a kinder, gentler self-help book. In this book, Dr. Brad Blanton, a psychotherapist and expert on stress management, explodes the myths, superstitions, and lies by which we live. He shows us how stress comes not from the environment, but from the self-built jail of the mind. What keeps us in our self-built jails is lying. "We all lie like hell," Dr. Blanton says. "It wears us out...it is the major source of all human stress. It kills us." Not telling our friends, lovers, spouses, or bosses about what we do, feel, or think keeps us locked in that jail. The way out is to get good at telling the truth. Dr. Blanton provides the tools we can use to escape the jail of the mind. This book is the cake with the file in it...In Radical Honesty, Dr. Blanton coaches us on how to have lives that work, how to have relationships that are alive and passionate, and how to create intimacy where none exists. As we have been taught by the philosophical and spiritual sources of our culture for thousands of years, from Plato to Nietzsche, from the Bible to Emerson, the truth shall set you free. 

If you know someone who might benefit and enjoy this newsletter, please send a copy to a friend. 

About the Author:
Steve Davis is a Business and Life Coach facilitating others to stretch beyond their full potential in their business and personal lives. Please email your stories, comments, suggestions, and ideas. I'd love to hear from you. If you find this newsletter helpful, please forward it to your friends. Thanks for reading!